Hidden Behind Those Tears

Chapter 1

'Those we love don't go away; they walk beside us every day... unseen, unheard, but always near. Still loved, still missed and very dear'

Lola Davis never told anyone about her father's death. She isolated herself and blocked everyone so she wouldn't have to face anything, to the point her friends thought she had died herself. The day of the crash she turned off her phone. Nothing on there seemed important anymore, not how many likes she got on her latest Instagram, not her 512 day streak with her friend, not how many retweets she got on her last tweet. Nothing.

All she wanted to do was to sit inside and watch re-runs of trashy daytime television or the series she and her father watched together on a Friday night when he got back from the late shift at the store. He would bring home her favorite chocolate bar or something she liked and they would curl up on the couch and watch whatever episode they were on. She would give up anything at any moment just to have one more Friday night with him, if only for a day.

A month had passed without her dad and the heartbreak was still raw and she saw no happiness in life. She lost her voice (not literally) and was no longer that loud kid at the back of the class but a girl that didn't want to be noticed anymore. A girl that wanted to hide her face and find the nearest private space so she could curl up and cry because the emotions were just too much. That's what she fears will happen if she goes back to school. It will all get too much and she won't be able to cope. She couldn't even cope now what would it feel like with five million questions being asked and hundreds of eyes looking her up and down?

Every time she closes her eyes she just replays it over and over again.

That day it was snowing. Lola, Her father, and her brother James were on the way home after a trip to an ice rink. Her dad had just saved up to have a family day somewhere in Utah. But the snow started to get heavier and heavier so much that you couldn't see out of most of the windows which made it quite dark. James started crying in the back seat and Lola tried to help as best as she could but it was only when Lola's dad look back, only for a couple of seconds he stopped crying. But those few seconds were fatal. He looked forwards again when the tire slipped on the icy ground and made the car swerve into another car and then it became a blur. Lola woke up in a hospital the next day. She was informed of what had happened and the details surrounding her father death. it was like the only good person left in the world had died.

Shortly after the crash, Lola's older sister Anna moved in, she couldn't bear to see her siblings be put up for adoption so she became their legal guardian. The day she moved in Anna and Lola made a vow. No one would know about their dad's death, they didn't want to spread the news around as it was still too painful to talk about. No one needed to know about it, they just needed to go about their day and pretend everything was alright.

No one had seen Lola since the crash. At first, her friends would call round to her house and see if she was ok but she never answered the door. She lay on the couch out of sight in case they looked through the windows, but they never did. Eventually, the stopped caring. They didn't want to know if she was alright anymore because they knew they would get no answer. They lost hope of her ever coming back. Little did they know she was going to turn up on the first day of the new term.

***

"You promised me, Lola. You're going back to school after winter break" Anna argued over the dinner table

"But Anna that's tomorrow. I'm not ready" Lola answered looking down and her soup.

They'd already had this argument several times already.

"I'm not having you miss any more of school! Do you want to pass your exams?"

"Maybe I don't. Maybe I want o spend the rest of my life in this dump"

"You can't just do that in life, that's not how it works. You need to pass so you can graduate and get a good job with a good house and a good life."

"No that's what you want Anna. But you've come running back to this place to boss me about just like you did before you moved out"

"You're going"

"Fine but if I faint because of all the people it's your fault"

Anna just scowled at Lola before changing the subject.

"I've invited mom to the ceremony for dad since we couldn't have a proper funeral," she said

"You can't do that"

"Why can't I? She deserves to know"

"What so she can flash some money in our face, stay for a bit before telling us she's sorry and packing to move back to whatever sunny state she lives in now?"

"She's changed, Lola. You're not twelve years old anymore"

You've been talking to her? I cannot believe you would stoop so low!" she was starting to shout now

"Shhh you're going to wake James up"

Lola stood up and stormed off to her room.

Any mention of her mother always set Lola off. She hated the woman since she left Lola and her dad just after James was born. Her mother was a gold-digger always was and always will be. She thought she could settle down with Rob she met at the store but when something better came up she left her husband and her children to live in Australia with some sports car salesman. That was the last Lola heard from her but Anna kept in touch because she was always her mother's favorite child. Eventually, she cut contact or that was what Lola had thought.

***

It was eleven pm and Lola was lying in her bed. She couldn't get to sleep so she grabbed some clothes and walked out of the house. She didn't need to bother sneaking out because everyone in her house are deep sleepers. It was normal for her to out at this time. No one went to the park at this time. She sat on a bench and let the cold air wash over her face.

It was relaxing to e by herself. Shed look up at the stars (or clouds depending on the day) and just let herself get lost in her own thoughts for an hour or so. She thought about school, her dad sometimes her mom or just think about nothing. She just needed the time alone in a safe place.

Lola looked at her phone. It read 12:01 am. She needed to get back if she had any chance of getting to school tomorrow. She took one last look at the park before retreating slowly back to the place she called home. On her way, she caught a glimpse of a hut in her local woods. Her dad built it for her when she was little. She couldn't believe it was still standing.

When she got home she had an idea. She grabbed a change of clothes and took a shower. She then went back to the woods after she packed an overnight bag. She didn't want to face her sister's stupid excuses and apologies. Maybe just for one night, she could stay in the hut.

She got there and laid some blankets down on an old camping mat her dad gave her to sit on. She let the bittersweet memories food into her head and lull her to sleep.

so... that was the first chapter of Hidden Behind Those Tears. I am planning to make this into a full novel instead of a short story like I've done with all of m other stories. if I leave this novel unfinished and give up on it you're allowed to slap me. I will do this guys!

hope ya enjoyed, xoxoxo