Letters to Anybody

Letter 8

To whoever,

Do you have those kind of friends that can just make you laugh about random shit?

I do. Due to it being the summer holidays were I live, my 2 close friends and I face timed and well, it was one of the first times I laughed, minus all the books on here, in the summer.

We laughed at random faces we made. At weird jokes. At ridiculous statements. At ridiculous attempts to keep our voices hushed. At my constant reminder to speak quieter becuase my ears drums were about to burst from the level of noise we made.

But then the call ends, and I realise that no matter how much they make me laugh it will always be behind me becuase my thoughts continue on. When that call ends, I will wallow in pain. When that call ends, my friends don't feel like friends to me. When that call ends, there's no one.
I realise that they will never notice my sadness becuase with them, there is a minimal amount, and i could stay with them forever but that will never happen. We grow up and grow apart.

So what's the point of being friends with them if they bring me pain without myself and them knowing it.

What's the point?

What is the fucking point?

Welcome to my life.

Welcome to my living torture.

But then again, isn't it a test?

Isn't it to prove my faith in God?

Some stupid test this is.

A person in pain

- M

"With all of the mistakes I made... This is everything I didn't say."