Chapter 2

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Have you ever wanted to be at your own funeral? I have, and I've thought about this a lot more than I should. I want to see who would be there, what they'd say, would they cry? It was all very interesting until I realize I'd be the one lying in the coffin, nothing but a pile of bones in a fancy suit.

Then that makes me think of all the stuff I haven't done in my life. Some things aren't very important like taste a blueberry pop tart or go to one of those naked beaches. While others are highly important such as get married and have kids.

Don't act so surprised, yes I want to settle down and raise a family, but only with the right person.

"Your awake," The old man stated. I wasn't sure how he could tell considering my eyes are closed and I haven't moved. I swear these old people are smarter than people fresh out of school.

"Yes." I'd been trying to sleep but couldn't get my mind from my family, friends, and most of all Maggie.

"That wasn't a question."

I opened one eye and looked over at the wrinkly guy who looked like he spent the better part of his life doing hard labour. "That was my answer."

"You know kid, you remind me a lot like myself when I was your age," This was why most people didn't visit old farts, because they always said that we were like them as if it were a compliment.

"Do I?" I hoped he could detect the sarcasm in my voice. Apparently this wasn't my day.

"Your one of those people that worries about everyone else."

I stayed silent, mainly because I didn't care what he was babbling on about but part of me was slightly shocked that he could read me so well.

"I'll give you some advice kid - Stop caring so much about everyone else and be selfish. Sometimes you gotta be your own damn hero and save yourself."

"Your telling me that I should be rude to people?" I asked in disbelief.

"I didn't say anything about you bein' rude, I said be selfish."

He shook his head back and forth while tsking me.

"There's not much of a difference, they're both defense mechanisms." I caught him now.

"By being rude your pushing people away. But by being selfish your letting them come to you, just not letting them in."

"So which are you?" I asked and brought my chair back up to a sitting position.

"Rude, the best way not to get your heart broken is to pretend you don't have one."

"By being rude you end up alone, but by being selfish you still have people around you which is better than nothing." We settled into a comfortable silence after that. Once we got to a small town I asked him to drop me off so I could spend the rest of my night here.

"I hope you find your why!" The man yelled as he drove away.

"Me too," I muttered and turned to face the motel 6 I'd been dropped off at. I looked at the desert looking field and spotted the sun starting to rise, peeking out from behind the graveled earth. The streetlights were still on so I figure it's about 5 or 6 a.m, not worth getting a hotel room and plus I slept lots on the ride here.

I slip my backpack onto my back and started my trek.

****

One bus trip later and I was now in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. I always found it weird when city's have the same name as states, I mean come on guys be original.

I used to live in Clay County in a city called Charlie. Not too big and not to small. Although it was boring at times. Don't get that idea in your head that I left because the city wasn't adventurous enough for me, it was fine and after I find out why I'll probably return, go to church every Sunday, raise a family. Sounds pretty damn decent to me.

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