Chase The Skies

Chapter 6

It had been one painful month since I'd seen Maggie. I had gone through all our conversations and picked out key words that would tell me where she was. I went to Chicago, New York, Jersey Shore, and not once did I even hear of her.

Some days I would question if she was worth it. Like today. I stood in front of the ticket master at the train station. There were 2 trains leaving in an hour. One for California, and one for home.

California was the last place I could look for her, everywhere else would be a shoot in the dark.

One part of me was telling me that I should go, that I would spend the rest of my life questioning my decision to stop. The other part, the one that told me I had screwed up for good this time, said I should go home.

I was usually one of those people that believed that nothing could be so screwed up that it couldn't be fixed. That characteristic could have been my downfall.

And as I stand here, holding up the line, I had a decision to make. One I didn't want to even have to make.

Did she want to be found?

For all I knew she could have patched things up with her parents and moved back to England.

Maybe I was just another thrill to cross off her list.

Maybe I meant nothing to her.

Maybe it was all a one sided relationship.

I was full of all this self doubt, all these questions. All this anger and confusion rolled into one and coming up my throat, exploding into this one answer.

"Home." I was panting. "I want to go home."

Maybe I was destined to have only that month with her. And I would cherish that month with her forever.

~•~

I should have let her play my damn harmonica.

I had been stuck on this topic for hours.

Flipping the piece of metal over in my hand I inspected it. Like this was the reason she'd left me. This rusty piece of bleach soaked, peanut butter tasting, entertainment was why she'd left.

It was so much easier to blame an inanimate object. Especially one I'd denied her.

The person across from me was snoring, peacefully asleep. Completely unaware that my heart had just gone through an emotional paper shredder. How can something so earth shattering happen, and nobody notice?

It's as if for the first time I look around and notice that I'm not an important part of it. Time keeps going. It doesn't stop, it doesn't even stumble. My misery doesn't effect anything.

I wanted to hurt that man across from me, then maybe he'd understand my pain if he felt some himself.

As if on cue, the song on my ipod switched to The Script. How fitting, how fucking fitting. I felt like I was in a cheesy music video, one of heartache and inner turmoil.

Ripping the earbuds out of my ears I threw my iPod onto the table, causing the man to wake from his deep sleep. Smiling deviously, I rolled my head back and stared at the ceiling.

That girl seriously messed me up.

~•~

Never have I ever regretted anything more than I do now. I stabbed he barbecued chicken with my fork and took a grunting bite from it.

"Whoa, what did that chicken ever do to you?" Dad chuckled and Mom gave him a stern look. "Can't the boy eat without you out 'n judging him?"

I should have went to California. It was too late now. She'd probably moved on to some over city, or even country. Hell, I barely new her and just a few weeks ago I was saying she was my one and only.