Suga's POV:
I looked at Jungkook and Jimin together. They looked happy, they looked like a perfect couple.
Is that what happiness looks like?
It hurt seeing the person you loved, love someone else.
"Pabos." I said unexpectedly.
All the members looked at me thinking why I said it.
"What?" Jimin broke the silence.
"Pabos." I repeated louder.
"Why are you making me feel like this you pabos." I fake cried to distract them.
Little did they know. I was actually crying on the inside.
I went back to my room and let it all out. I sat there on the floor not caring how loud I was.
The door opened and then closed. I looked up and there he was, looking at me as tears rolled down my face.
"Are you okay?" Taehyung said as he gave me a napkin.
"Does it look like I'm okay?" I said harshly.
He just looked at me, making me feel guilty.
"Sorry." I apologized.
"It's just that..." I stopped.
He looked at me waiting for me to continue.
"I looked at Jimin and Jungkook and they seemed to be happy. I don't remember.." I hesitated.
"Remember what?" He questioned.
"I don't remember when the last time I was happy. The last time I smiled, or laughed until my stomach hurt." I continued.
"I don't remember how to love." I sighed.
He kneeled down and hugged me as more tears came out. I smiled at him.
"Thank you." I cried.
"No need to thank me." Taehyung said.
"No really, you were here for me. I vented my thoughts and you listened." I sighed again.
"Suga-hyung." He stated.
"Why do you always act cool?" He questioned.
"I don't know it's just an instinct." I lied.
He nodded and then left.
I looked down as I got up to sit on my bed. Thinking about this one person.
Park Jimin.
I remembered the way he looked at Jungkook and the way he looked back.
The way he stayed when Jungkook was at the hospital and the way Jungkook did the same when Jimin was in the hospital.
The way they kissed each other, showing off how much they truly did love each other.
I wanted to feel loved.
I wanted to be the person Jimin hugs everyday. I wanted to be Jimin's first thought when he woke up and last thought when he fell asleep.
But instead it was Jungkook getting his love instead of me.
I should have confessed to him the second I developed feelings for him.
But being the fool I am I didn't and now he's happy with someone else.
I got angry with my own thoughts. I loved Jungkook. I mean he was the maknae of the group.
But I envied him.
I was jealous. He got the guy I liked. He made him happy while I was on the side just watching them.
Feeling hurt.
I let my thoughts get to me.
I felt anger.
I felt sadness.
I felt envy.
And all because of Jungkook.
I closed my eyes. And drifted off to a deep sleep...
I then woke up panting, sweating, crying.
I looked to my right and saw Taehyung there.
Why was he here?
He looked into my eyes.
My hand was wet as I looked down, not realising I was still crying.
"Hyung... I'm here." He hugged me.
I hugged him back. Taehyung was always when I needed him.
It was one of the advantages of sharing a room with him.
I vented to him. Telling him the truth.. telling him about Jimin.
He listened to me, nodding to every word I had said.
Once I calmed down, he went to his bed and fell asleep.
My thoughts wondered off... Taehyungs voice was stuck in my head. I got up and went to the bathroom.
"Why do you always act cool?" His voice repeated in my head.
I looked in the mirror and then looked down. I lifted up my sleeves exposing a red wrist full of scars and a white wrist on the other arm. I looked at both of them sighing deeply.
"Because I don't want anyone knowing.." I said as I pulled out the secretly hidden razor.
I started cutting. The same horizontal lines that faded have reappeared again as blood goes down the sink.
"Knowing how much I hate myself." I continued telling myself as I cut another deep line.
I watched the blood go down. I turned on the faucet and went back to my room. Crying because of him.
