30 Day Letter Challenge [tumblr]

Day 14: The Person You Wish You Could Be

Shizuku,

Trust me to be writing to a fictional character. And trust that character to be a Hayao Miyazaki creation. Whisper of the Heart is one of my favourite movies ever, because even though you don’t exist, Shizuku, we have so much in common.

We love to write, but often lack the motivation or inspiration to do so. We hide our work from most people. We feel insecure about the same things. We’re unsure about our futures, and pretty independent. We have parents who are quite particular about our grades. We have older siblings who do a lot for us, since we can be pretty self-absorbed and lazy. We easily become obsessed with little things or ideas. We’re really inexperienced when it comes to guys. And, finally, we both like someone who’s very ambitious, and feel that we’re not good enough for them.

The biggest difference between us is that you tried to lessen the gap between you and Seiji. You managed it through hard work and determination, and by letting someone see the real you. I still haven’t done that. Yet. I’m still sitting around hoping that mine doesn’t see me as a useless bum, because I can’t let myself be vulnerable like you, and because I’m so unsure of myself that I can’t devote my whole being to one serious project. Because I’m ridiculously lazy when it comes to doing things for myself. And besides, what if it doesn’t work out? I’d just be left with self-loathing and an even greater feeling of inadequacy. Man, I really wish our stories were the same. I should stop being stupid and polish my geode until it’s beautiful, inside and out. I wish my parents would lay off a bit like yours did. I wish I could find cool places and people like you did.

I guess another difference between your story and mine, is that you and Seiji worked out fine, even after he was gone for two months. Mine started being ridiculous after only one. I wish he had come back the same like Seiji did. Obviously, I don’t want to be proposed to now, like Seiji did – hell, I’m only nineteen – but would it hurt to be serious?! Now I feel like a needy idiot. Oh well. I’ll just watch Whisper of the Heart again and I’ll instantly feel better. ‘Til we meet again on my laptop screen in about twenty minutes,

Adios!

A Kindred Spirit

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Author's Note: Watch Whisper of the Heart. It's a great movie. Seriously. The external link is for one of my favourite scenes in the movie. It's the English version which is good, but I personally recommend watching the film in Japanese, with English [or whichever language you speak] subtitles, as this is the original version.