INSTAGRAM ABEL

INSTAGRAM ABEL-Part 2

The next several days went by with me trying to simply concentrate on anything. I was obsessive about him before all of this and now it was just ridiculous. I couldn't think about anything else! I even started to mark my calendar for how many days left until his concert on April 25th and it was early December so I wrote in 136 days. Gasp. That's way too many days to wait and find out if this whole thing is legit. Fuck me. But, at least that's when I'll finally see him in concert again! Yay!!

I waited and waited for him to message me. It was December 1st when he messaged me last and it was now about two weeks from the last message. So, I thought I'd wait about three weeks in total until I sent him a message myself. Don't ask me where this logic came from because I have no idea! lol! However, I messaged him again on December 22nd because it was a Thursday of course.

Hi Abel, how are you? Just wanted to say hi and chat. Talk later. Happy Thursday!

It was three long days until I received a reply back and it must have been the longest three days of my entire life. I was back to having sleep problems over this and I knew I had to get a hold of myself. His message went like this:

Hi Stacey, doin good, just chillin, how bout you? Grindin with lots of promo right now while I'm not on tour, so lots of appointments and travelling. I was thinking, do you have Skype? Thought it might be good to have a session with you. You down?"

My heart fell and anxiety filled my stomach. I didn't even know how to respond. This must mean it IS him if he's willing to show his face. No way! Really? Could this actually be happening? Then my head began to spin with so many thoughts that he must have wondered why I wasn't responding right away. What if I don't look good enough for him? What if I'm too ugly or fat or something? What if he changes his mind about meeting me after he sees what I really look like? What if I say really stupid shit and turn him off? What if this is just a test so he can see ahead of time what I'm like? What if I don't meet his expectations?

Oh God.

I'm usually a relatively confident person. I work with the public so I see a lot of different types of people. I have no problem with how I carry myself and I always look presentable and stylish. I think I'm pretty attractive. I have lots of friends and I have no problem speaking my mind. But now I found myself reduced to a child with low self esteem. Every single thought whipping through my head was negative.

I better answer him, I thought.

That sounds great! When were you thinking?

Now if that works?

My heart can't take this shit, I thought. Thankfully I didn't look too bad at the moment. I was grateful that my hair wasn't a mass of knots and my mascara wasn't smudged all over my eyes. But my clothes! Oh, fuck! I have ratty sweats on and a t-shirt. I messaged him.

Can we do it in like10 minutes?

LOL sure. Lemme know when ur ready

OK for sure

I hopped off my couch and ran to my bedroom. Adrenaline flowed through me and made me feel like Superwoman. I could've taken a leap off my roof and saved the world with the way it felt. But I was far from being able to save the world due to the shaking and trembling going on.

I ripped clothes from my closet as though I was ransacking the joint, hurling them one by one onto the bed. Nothing was appropriate. I wanted something sexy but not too sexy. I didn't want to look desperate. After a few minutes I found a nice low cut blouse that I decided on. I rummaged through my drawer and pulled out some black tights and put those on. I put the blouse on and then rummaged through my jewelry box for my XO necklace. It hung perfectly over my cleavage. Now he'll notice at least something that'll make me appear sexy.