Time of my life.

Josh? or Joshua?

"Oh My Goodness" my mom's screeching voice is the first thing I hear. Slowly opening my eyes to look up but my mom rushes to open the curtains. The natural light instantly lit the room up. "What are you staring at? Come on get in the shower!"

"Although I'm really confused here I don't care where you're going because  I have plans to stay at home now please let get back to dreaming since reality is too much effort" I go to pull the blanket over my head.

"Bailey, Are you seriously that forgetful or you're seriously lazy because i believe you're lazy. " my mom says but i barely hear her.

I pull the blanket from my face to reply back to her "Sorry mom I really don't know or care" just before I go to pull it up over my face her hand stops me.

"Bailey, I do understand you don't like being around people but this is a funeral everyone in our town is going to pay their respects to the Rutherfords lost daughter we have to go."

With a melodramatic sigh I get up to shower. "Honey hurry up and I'll get your clothes ready the service starts in exactly 45 minutes!" she calls and I yell back with a "thanks"
_________________________________________

I smooth out my black dress one time and grab my black ballet shoes from behind my converse and vans collection. Running down I grab my bag and get into my moms car.

I was startled when I realised we came to a stop pulling out my earphones I looked out the window. Great we're here. Note to self: don't freak out its not appreciated at a funeral.

I looked up and seen all the people outside the venue. I look to find the Rutherfords keeping a brave face greeting all those families one after one they seemed as if they didn't even want to be here especially Josh which is what everyone calls him but should I call him Joshua since we're not close and casual but maybe he prefers Josh. How would that even go in this situation? Oh hi Josh its a very casual day I came here to say sorry for the death of your baby sister? I am freaking out and we're not even going to have time to see them since the service is starting soon.

"Honey, I'm going to pay last respects to the Rutherford's baby now try to at least smile a little if you're not gunna talk" She whispered down to me.
We slowly approached them both wearing a smile to hopefully make them feel better. "Oh lousie I'm speechless just last week we came to see the baby after she was born and now we're saying goodbye to her so soon..." I stop listening to my mum's rambling and watch their son Josh...or Joshua approach us. He was smiling too much for being at his sister funeral but I ignored his face and thought of what to say but before he even came close enough for a quiet conversation distance I decided to say "Sorry for your loss" a bit too loud since everyone turned and looked from their own conversations including my mother who gave me a look telling me to calm down.

Josh laughed at me once he stood in front of me "Wow Bailey I guess you've changed from being the quiet girl at the back of every class we have together" He said trying to start up a conversation but noticeably avoids the topic of his sister. "School just finished and yes I am still the quiet girl from a day ago." He laughed but I am actually suprised he remembers me. We sat together in a few classes so we did talk a bit a couple years ago but we never hung out at lunch or anything so we never became friends I was just their to tell him if his equations were right or wrong. He was always comfortable to talk to though because he is a laid back person.

He seemed very dazed.
We went quiet and I started  overthinking in our awkward silence.
Did I say something wrong? Am I dressed inappropriately? Does he want to stop talking? I don't want to seem like a loser. But I want to stop talking and hide under my bed.
After all the overthinking in the awkward silence I decide on talking again. Unexpectedly I blurt out
"Do you prefer me to call you josh or joshua?" His eyes widen as he was startled from the so sudden question.

His faced relaxed again and he replied "Please call me josh only my dad calls me joshua" He said holding back on laughing.

I looked down embarrassed and blushing which was only because I was embarrassed. "Well you know it's bad when not even your mom calls you joshua" I said attempting a joke to move on from that embarrassing moment that will not let me sleep later on. "NOT YOUR NAME you're name isn't bad I meant I was bad for thinking to call you joshua not that that is bad but I mean like you said no one really calls you that except your dad who which of course is not your friend or someone your casual with not that It's wrong but I don't know are you casual with your dad? I mean a lot of people are I don't know why I assumed you weren't-" I stopped when I actually looked at who I was talking to, I always avoid eye contact when talking to people, Josh was staring at me not even sure if he was listening I mean how could he have been I forgot what I was rambling on about myself.

"Geez, this is why I lock myself at home when I become unleashed I annoy everyone or scare them away usually depends on their reaction to me" I attempt another joke to move on from another awkward moment that just happened. I'm going to panic this is too much interaction for me.

Realising we're the only ones standing around I was saved by the bell when Josh was called to prepare for the burial his smile fell and his eyes were filled with such emotion. Before he was going to walk off I jumped forward and hit his arm and left it there for a second whilst giving him a what I thought comforting smile.

He jumped
"What the- Oh my God" after not being able to speak his smild grew again and he immediately failed at holding back his laughter and burst into uncontrollable laughter causing everybody to stare back at us including my mother who was standing shoulder to shoulder with Josh's parents. She gave me death glares forcing me to look down at my shoes and cover my face with one hand.
"What was that? An otter slap? And that smile felt so creepy please don't do that again to anyone. " Josh said whispering now but still laughing.

"I was trying to comfort you" I replied giving in and smiling too. "You really need to go now, Josh, they're waiting on you." I said and watched him run off into the church.

Something is off with him not having self control and laughing uncontrollably at his sister's funeral when he laughed less when we were five years old.

________________________________________

I hope at least one person reads this book.