Spoken word poetry(ENG/LT)

Death causes

You think I am happy? Well I'm NOT. I'm fucking breaking inside. Friends, school...isin't going to cut it anymore. My saddness grows bigger every Day, every Hour, Minute of my so called life. I don't...feel alive anymore... My warmth is gone, hearth is missing. I'm trying. Trying so hard to fake a smile. To shove my emotions deeper and deeper into my broken soul. These feelings are slowly gaining control of my body. I'm starting to lose it. You think I'm still sane? HOW? Even I think I'm insane. It's pathetic how I still try to pretend normal. My emotions are starting to change me. I'm getting cold, rude, "unfriendly". Even my friends started to notice that lack of positiveness I once had in my eyes. I wonder were has it gone off to. My life is going down. One after another people who I called friends turned their backs and left. I'm trying to hold the tears. Still trying to look as strong. But...I fail. Every second of my life I had this preassure weighing my chest, haunting me, bringing my self esteem down. That's it! I can't take it anymore. It hurts. So bad. I'm going...