Blake and the Bench nun
"Blake if you don't stop staring at me this minute I swear I will elbow you in your nicely chiseled abs," said Lexi as I twirled a lock of her chocolate brown curly hair around my finger and watched her angelic face fast asleep before she felt my gaze and opened her mouth to not so angelic words.
The sun was peeking into our apartment ever so slightly as dawn made its entry just a few moments ago.
I hadn't slept the whole of the previous night and for some nights before and this time my headaches and nightmares weren't the cause unless you call proposing to Lexi Grayson a nightmare..
Lexi and I had known each other for....years. I always knew she was the girl for me since that first day when I saw her in that green dress and she flashed me that smile.
She was always the girl for me. But was I right for her? Did she really love me or did she just feel sorry for me and decide to give me a break after she found out how obsessed I was over her. She probably just wanted some comfort in the new chapter of her life called 'college' and decided to take me along on the trip.
I sighed as she nuzzled closer into her pillow and I kissed the top of her head and got out of bed.
"Hey! You're letting the cold intrude on my morning coziness!" She said as I breathed a laugh and got my running shoes on and within minutes I was running down the coast line with the cool morning breeze blowing through my hair.
As I was running I spotted someone sitting on one of the benches staring out to the sea and as I slowed down I realized that it was Josh!
"What are you doing here man?" I asked.
"I messed up Blake," he said, not even bothering to look up.
"What are you talking about? Did you cheat on Daph with Mrs Puss?"
"Yeah, yeah," he said as he rolled his eyes. "Actually, no. She caught me doing that last week but that's not why I messed up. She said that if I don't propose to her then we're over. I guess she just wants some sort of security or whatever but I can't! I'm Josh! I don't do weddings! I spike the punch and laugh when the Groom drools pink saliva all over the Bride's pretty white dress!" He said as he threw his arms up in exaggeration.
"What??! She wants you to propose?" I asked, shocked.
"Yeah, I know right! I mean, she knows I love her so why does she need a marriage certificate to prove it?"
"Get up," I said, straight faced.
"No thanks, I'm fine. I think I'm going to become a bench nun and dedicate my life to watching this bench so no crude teenagers violate it's rights by spreading unhygienic liquid all over it. Yes! I will be the bench nun and this bench will never tell me to propose or it's leaving because it can't leave! And we understand each other! Don't we Stan?" He said as he gently rubbed the arm rest of the bench, all the while staring at the waves.
I grabbed his arm as I yanked him up and dragged him to the shore as he whined about how I was breaking his covenant to the bench.
"Shut up already!" I said as we reached the shore and could feel the waves spraying sea water on our faces . There was a whole lot of rocks strewn around the beach so I took one and said, "this is for the time you shoved my head in the car bonnet while Jayden wrote 'kick me' in french on my ass," as I threw the rock into the sea.
Josh caught on and took a rock too then said, "this is for the time I was piss drunk and I stopped at a light pole and frenched it while you laughed like a maniac and took a video of the whole thing," and threw his rock and it sunk into the sea, "Daph still hasn't gotten over that one. Every time we cross a road she makes these weird fish faces," he said as he lightly smiled.
I chukled as I took another stone, "this is for ruining my first date by telling Fat Merna with the pig tales and asthma problems that I have a crush on her in 7th grade and I felt bad about telling her the truth when she told me to pick her up at 8 as she wheezed and walked away," I said
Josh took a stone and said, "this is for going out with her and breaking my heart. I had a huge crush on her man!"
At that statement I couldn't help but double over with laughter
"You serious? Oh shit, Joshiepooo I'm soo sorry. Thank god your taste in woman improved," I said while patting him on the back
"Strange species, Women," Josh trailed off."
"Look buddy, Daph probably wants this so bad because let's face it you aren't exactly the most stable person out there, mentally speaking and well, neither is she but she wants your relationship to at least be stable," I said.
"Yeah," he said, throwing rocks in to ocean for no reason.
"Why is it so hard to propose anyways?" I asked him while feeling like a hypocrite but he didn't need to know that.
"Honestly, ever since she kissed me in that alley I knew I was screwed," he said with a smile. "I'm afraid of not being screwed, of losing that screwness if that's a word." He looked me in the eye and said, "I always want to be screwed by that woman."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused.
"I don't want to get used to her Blake, I want to love her like this for the rest of my life. I don't want to wake up one day and not get a hard on when I feel her next to me." He sighed
Just then Josh's phone started ringing and we immediately knew who was calling because of the ringtone. Josh recorded Daph slurring her own version of Barnie the dinosaur one night after graduation.
"Barnie is a dinosaur, a sexy figment of my imagination,
I slept with him and sucked his balls,
And he died of satisfication."
"That isn't a word love," Josh said while laughing.
"Josh! He died! Oh god... I killed him Josh!" Daph said, and then the recording cut off.
I chuckled as Josh stopped freak dancing to his girlfriend's slurry singing and answered the phone.
"Hey babe," he said with a smile."He did what? Mrs Puss is crying outside the door for me? Oh baby! Calm down.. shhhh, Daddy's coming." He said before cutting the call.
He turned to me and said, "I love this woman! Where else am I going to find someone who loves that old bag of a cat as much as I do?" He said as he ran off the beach singing 'I swear she's the one'.
I smiled as I jogged back to the apartment and as I opened the door my breath caught as I looked up and saw Lexi standing outside of our bedroom wearing one of my sweatshirts and shorts looking sexy as hell even though she just got up.
Lexi rubbed the sleep off her eyes as she walked towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck saying, You okay? How's your head? You haven't been sleeping well lately."
I smiled down at her, "yeah, my insomnia is all your fault Pumpkin, I can't seem to sleep when your beautiful face is right next to me,"
"Okay then, I have a solution. Why don't you sleep on the couch tonight?" She asked with a smirk.
"You know that if I did that you would come creeping back to me in the middle of the night," I teased her back with a smirk of my own.
She laughed as she said, "you're such a jerk Blake!"
"Ahhh, yes I am pumpkin but I'm your jerk," I said as I bent down so that our lips met
When she pulled back she said,"I love you jerk, my very own smirking jerk," with her eyes still closed.
Right then as I saw the bliss on her face, I knew that whether she said yes or no I would propose to Lexi Grayson because she needed me as much as I needed her
"I love you too Pumpkin, I really do," I said as I tightened my grip on her and kissed her forehead.
