Not One For Love (Camren)

Chapter 10: Not One For Love

In Lauren's left hand is her notebook clutched tightly, as if she was afraid to lose it. In her right was Camila's hand, her grip firm but loose enough for Camila to be able to release her hold whenever she wished. When she would let go of Lauren, it was only to tuck a lock of her brunette hair back, or to play with her slender fingers.

It was poetry night, and Lauren was nervous. Not of the stage—she'd been on it far too many times to count. She was over her stage fright years and years ago. Not of the crowds—half of them were her friends and acquaintances. Dinah and Normani were probably making out in one of the many dark corners of the bar. Lauren was nervous because she wrote a poem for a girl, and she was as real as the pounding of her heart against her ribcage. That girl was Camila, and Lauren was performing a poem for her tonight.

"You ready?" Ally approached her with a tankard filled with the local brew. "They're done setting up out back."

"Ready for what?" Camila asked, eyes bright and staring at Lauren. She kept it a secret from Camila that this was their date night—the night that would hopefully kick off their relationship into the stars.

Lauren shook her head and kissed her nose. "You'll see. Dinah and Normani are around somewhere. Just relax, Camila." She grinned and smoothed out her blazer before following Ally, casting a wink towards Camila as she disappeared in the crowd.

"Is that her? The woman you mentioned that stole your heart and made you quit your job?" Ally asked as they entered backstage. Lauren greeted a few of her friends and nodded to Ally.

"I thought about your offer." Lauren said as she rolled her shoulders, tension dissipating in her body with each passing second. "And I want the position, if you haven't given it out already."

Ally chuckled. "I knew you'd say yes somehow, Lauren. Of course it's all yours."

"Oh, good." Lauren grinned. "I quit my day job for this even though I can probably do both, you know? But I have money saved up, and not all of my clients are asking for refunds. None of them are suing me either, so that's a relief." She peeked through the curtains and caught a sight of Camila who was chatting with Dinah. The announcer stepped center stage and began to entertain the patrons of the bar.

"Everyone missed you, Lauren." Ally said, hand clapping against her back. "You'll be great."

Lauren smiled. "I hope so. But more than that, I hope I'll be great for Camila."

The host declared her name and Lauren stepped through the curtains, the black fabric flourishing around her. She smiled through the bright lights and the familiar faces of the crowd. Catching Camila's eyes, Lauren winked and gripped the microphone stand. "Hello, everyone. To those who are not familiar with this scene, I've been MIA for the past year or so." Lauren chuckled.

"You could say I've been busy. I haven't been writing." The crowd booed playfully and Lauren laughed. "I know, I know. But you see, the first time I wrote a poem about a girl whose eyes are comparable to New York City's lights was last night when the moon hung low," Lauren held up her hand, cupping it as if she was grasping the moon in her palm. "Like false hope amidst these dying, fading stars burning bright and blinding me. I haven't touched a pen to write a poem in months and I try to think that this would make me see; that maybe this isn't all there is to me."

The pub was silent now, eyes trained on Lauren. She relished it. She savored their awed stares, but most of all, she was drawn to Camila's eyes. "The last time I wrote a poem was two hundred and fifty seven days ago but it was crap. It was a poem about how my lungs are just lungs, and my stomach is just a stomach." She patted her abdomen. "It's unromantic and I burned the words in my mind until all is left is charcoal and the alphabet crumbling in my fingertips."