Blue-Penciled

Chapter 5

I slept all day with no meal.It's been 6 months that I haven't gotten back to school.

No one looked for me.I don't want to go back again, not now that my life is ruined.

I listen to music and sleep all day.I barely have meals.I don't have an appetite.I'm getting depressed.I got pregnant after a week but the baby eventually died because of my vices.

I drank alcohol and smoked atleast 5 packs a day.My life became a miserable one.

And I don't have a plan to fix it.I'm happy of what I became.I lost 30 pounds, from 71 to 41. I became so thin and disastrous.And guess what my parents did...they abandoned me after knowing what happened.

I'm now living in a boarding house.I got my money from gambling and delivering illegal drugs.My life has been like this.

After a year ,I decided to go back to our house.I knocked the door and it opened.

My mom was in shocked when she saw me. "My goodness Celestine!What have you done to yourself?l ,I felt like my heart is torn apart.I cried in front of her and knelt.I didn't say anything.

I just hugged her and cried a lot. "Where have you been?I'm sorry I neglected you.I looked for you,dear." ,she cried too.

It hurts seing her crying in front of me. "Where's dad?" I asked. "He died last month,Celestine.He got a car accident."

I cried and cried.I can't talk this time.She gave me a glass of water and told me to rest and we'll talk tomorrow.

***

"What have you done to yourself?You're so thin!Change your clothes,I'll bring you for a check-up". That day,a great revelation changed my life.

The doctor declared that I'm Anorexic.

Anorexia is a serious disorder in eating behaviour primarily of young women in our teens on early twenties that is characterized especially by faulty eating patterns.

But in my situatuon,it was caused because of serious physical and emotional depression.My depression leads a loss of appetite.That's why I got thin.

I also developed lung cancer.I don't know what to do next.

Few months have passed and I became thinner from 41 pounds to 34 pounds.

My bones are popping out,they are now structurally visible.It's getting harder for me to move and to breath.

I cheked out the window and stared.The usual environment in my room;dim and humid.I can't take this anymore.I'm dying.I'm about to.


I woke up with my head aching and dizzy.And there's a man sitting beside my bed I can remember his face but I can't recall my memories with him.

"Who are you?" I asked. "It's me ,Gabriel.I found you unconscious in a convenient store.I brought you to your house right across the store. "

I can't remember anything.Where am I?Who am I?" I asked. "It's okay,I know this day will come and I have prepared since from the very first time we met.You already told me about your condition." I got confused.

Who is this guy?Who is he in my life?I have a lot of questions iside my head. "You mean,we knew each other before?" ,his eyes turned teary.

A thought flashed inside my head: "I'm aftaid of waking up one day not remembering anything.Losing my memories,permanently."

The guy said in a cold voice, "I loved you.You never noticed.You never did."