I have a lot to say

Me

I'm a generally Jealous person. It's one of my fatal flaws. My biggest one at that.

I'm stubborn and have a generally bad appearance on myself no matter what anyone else says.

I have a lot of friends who have some kind of disorder (depression, anxiety, etc) and from what I know they've gone through its generally pretty understandable.

Especially someone specific.

I'm a generally positive person. I love bright colors, being outgoing and I love music.

But honestly I feel like an outsider sometimes.

My friends like specific music, and I honestly like a variety. They have specific styles and I kinda stand to my general hoodie, skinny jeans converses.

I haven't told my friends everything that's happened in my life because of my trust issues. They never have really taken the time to ask me if I'm okay. Mainly because I put on a smile and tell them Im alright.

I lie.

I lie a lot.

I'm not depressed. I don't have anxiety. But I'm a generally angry person. I have what's called 'accumulated anger issues'

Basically, from what I've gone through throughout my life, it's caused me to have some pretty bad anger issues and yet I'm still able to smile through all of it.

I'm not really sure why though.

Maybe it's just because I have a stronger bond with myself than I actually thought.

I'm committed to my friends and my friends play a huge role in my life. They always have, especially my current ones.

They've helped me get through some pretty tough times without even knowing they did.

When I met Belle, I was actually in an argument with my dad about school.

When I met Marguerite, I was having trouble with my faith.

When I met Josh for the first time on the soccer field, I was in a fight with my best friend.

When I met Baylee I had no friends.

They've all helped me in different ways, but I'm still struggling to see what I do for them. 🤔

Once again, I'm not depressed. I don't want to be. I'm just confused is all. 😕

Anyways, all for now
Bean out