The First Lady's Choice

Chapter Nine

Church is falling apart...

A roommate is what I have right now, nothing in our mannerism towards one another would point to us being a 'happily' married couple. We even go to church separately. To a prying eye it would seem that Tre and I were more compatible. However callous that may sound, sometimes I wish he were my husband. Lately those are the thoughts that keep infiltrating my head. I feel dirty and riddled with sin just thinking those type of thoughts.

Seeing as though I am always alone in this marriage, this is one of the better train of thoughts that I have been forced to endure. When I try to be seen by William, it seems I was a single woman vying for the great pastors attention. Either he doesn't notice or he just doesn't care that I am unhappy with our current situation. Sure he still sleeps in our marital bed, he still lives in our house, and he still refers to me as his better half but it all just sounds like words.

Empty words that mean nothing without action or at least that is my constant bicker to bear. When I've tried to explain to him how I felt, he pulled the 'Oh God, not again,' face. Instead of continuing with the nagging, complaining, and difficult wife conversation, I back down. The consuming nagging in my head is worse than any words that could come out of my mouth. Every nasty thing I want to say, every hateful complaint I want to lash at him about our current situation all remains a tangled web of curses in my head.

What kind of maddened world do we live in when a man doesn't consider his wife's point of view in anything? This isn't the stone age where a man tells the wife what, when, where, how and she better make it happen without complaint. Still, this is my life. The life I have chosen to stick with until the good Lord says otherwise. Thankfully, I have been doing better in the depression department, now I need to channel my anger. My feelings of resentment are starting to take root and I fear a tree of regret will soon take place.

"Megan, I need a favor." William started as soon as I answered his call.

"Good afternoon to you too honey. I'm fine and how are you?" I placated rolling my eyes.

"There is no time for your bitter attitude woman. Is your time of the month approaching so soon?" Now that was a new and seriously low blow.

"Since you haven't touched me in months, I would assume it's always my time." I retorted and he groaned into the phone. "What do you need William?"

"I will let that one slide because we have more pressing issues at this moment." William could be heard moving about in a busy fashion as I waited for him to get to the point of his call. "Miss Winters has been rushed to the hospital. I need..."

"Oh no! What hospital?"

"Mercy I believe, I can't leave where I am at the moment. I need you to stand in for me, you know, do your first lady duties."

"Screw the first lady duties, Miss Ruby is like a granny to me."

"That is completely unlady-like of you to say but just do as I ask."

"I'm not doing this for you William, trust me." I stated with finality before pushing the end button.

"Abigail, I will be out for the remainder of the day."

"No problem Megan, I have everything covered here."

"Thanks girl, you are a God-sent."

"I hope everything is alright."

"Me too," I sighed hitting the door with all of my belongings.

My mind was running a thousand miles a minute. I was wondering why Tre hadn't called me about his granny being in the hospital. Then I had to remember, he shouldn't have to think about who to call at a time like this. There I was feeling stank for being selfish again. Actually all I wanted to do was be there for that family, not that I felt compelled to be on the 'call' list. Still I prayed that everything would work out alright and maybe this was only a scare.