Distant Past: Blocking The Unknown

02 breathing

To me as a child it seemed like such a simple task, like your heart beat to continue onto a new day. I found no difference between the two, but i learned as time went on. The pain came with it, they would get worst, louder they would become. New nightmares born through everyday. See i find trouble sleeping.

I stay awake to prevent the nightmares so when daylight hits i know it's ok. Nothing will come away from each day, new nightmares stopped being born and I'm glad but all i knew now was how to be sad.

It became so casual to have a nightmare each night that i stopped being myself. I would have to keep my self busy to stop it all from crossing into the unknown. Each time i would start to doze they would become louder as if acting as a wall for my insomnia to lean against, A barricade to last an eternity.
The lies of happiness didn't stop there see my mind is so left and right that it once did a u-turn on the highway. I was so close to sleeping one night but then it happened, the loud noises in my head almost sounding like frying pans, as much noise to be made was the goal. They needed to keep me awake that's all they new for everytime i stayed up late they became that much stronger.

Days later i would awake and be sad to understand that everything i knew was built on sand, foundation not solid breaking every second pain spreading through every twist and turn see it is through these nights that i become less of me.

I woke in pain one day, memory all blurred for a second, i knew that day they had made a mistake.

To weak to move they became louder than ever they knew my strength, they knew i was broken.