Staying Afloat

04 | accidental letters from a poor baker

      "Accidents happen. Our bones shatter, our skin splits, our hearts break. We burn, we drown, we stay alive."

- Moïra Fowley-Doyle

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To: durham-sachs@gmail.com

            From: me

            Subject: The penniless baker

            Dear Mr. Durham-Sachs, I typed out on my computer only to quickly hit the delete button. I couldn't do this! What was I thinking! Or more like what the hell was Penny thinking?! I didn't want some man's help, the thought made me gag. Penny told me I needed to swallow my pride but, it was oh so hard when every part of me was against it. In the end, I had to ask myself the question, did I want my beloved business or to keep my beloved pride? It was obviously clear what was the logical choice of course, but I was having a damn hard time trying to let myself go.

            Dear Mr. Durham-Sachs, I tried again,

My name is Beatrice Sutton and you need to help me save my business. Bah! Much too desperate. I hit the delete button, the empty email staring me right in the face. I felt pathetic, get a grip Beatrice!

Dear Mr. Durham-Sachs, for the last time.

As I am sure you can tell by the subject line, I am a baker, a rather penniless baker. My friend Penny works for your world renowned company and she told me she had mentioned me to you. I mean she may have lied about that just to get me to ask for help but I don't know. Well, Penny does tend to lie...

Anyway, sorry for the small rant I just realized that I don't want your help and decided that I am going to delete this email. Although I do need the money, I am broke and my business is failing which is quite sad really. I have also discovered that buying coffee too many times a week is starting to burn a hole in my pocket, quickly draining away all the funds I have left, which is also, quite sad. But full bellies and empty wallets – what can you do?

I am now (fake, well real but I won't send it to you anyway) writing to you to inquire about filling my wallet and my stomach a.k.a. saving my business. Oh boy, this email inquiry thing was not working out well, I continued writing so I could start over, after getting everything out there, acknowledging my problems. What did it matter? I was going to delete it anyway. I need an investor or else I may lose my bakery and that would be awfully detrimental to my self-esteem. You see I am a woman and let's just say that if I had a penny for the amount of times people have told me that women can't run successful businesses I wouldn't be quite so penniless and wouldn't need your help, which by the way I most definitely do NOT want.

Penny has told me so much about you, mostly bad things I must admit. Which furthers my distaste at asking you for help. I have heard from pretty much all around that you're a stingy, old, chauvinistic bastard who couldn't care less about small businesses, my business. I get it though, you have billions of dollars, why share the wealth? I mean you have absolutely no cash to spare, awfully greedy don't you think? Totally deleting this.

           So, Oh Prosperous one, will you open your deep pockets and lend me some of your seemingly endless wealth? It would be much appreciated.