um im feel sad atm lol and not really sure why (could be my period since im hella hella late but you know) and i just need to talk yeah?
so
I'm a senior in high school like wOw AwEsOmE and im so oVER IT
Like do you ever just like sit in class and you're just like why the fuck am i here , cuz I've been thinking that since school started lmao
And like I could've graduated early, i only need 3 more credits to graduate and i could have done online school but did that happen? No.
And everyone says like "senior year is the best year of your life make it count make it memorable" blah blah bLAH
I DON'T HAVE ANYONE WITH ME TO MAKE MY SENIOR YEAR MEMORABLE
and like I did electives that I thought would be cool and fun like band (since i dropped band after freshman year) and graphic design (I've stuck with that class since sophomore year so after this year I'll be certified in graphic design like cOoL) and journalism.
I DON'T LIKE THESE CLASSES.
I FEEL LIKE THE NEW KID THAT LEFT AFTER MIDDLE SCHOOL AND THEN THEY COME BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL AND THEY EXPECT #FRIENDSHIP BUT YOU HAVEN'T TALKED TO THEM IN LIKE 3 YEARS
AND I JUST FEEL SAD AND ANGRY AND DUMB BECAUSE I WAS SO EXCITED FOR BAND AND JOURNALISM AND I JUST FEEL LIKE I DON'T FIT IN ANYWHERE ANYMORE AND I JUST IGHSNANSHSJA
AND I WANNA MAKE FRIENDS I HAVE MADE SOME NEW FRIENDS BUT THEY'RE NOT PEOPLE THAT WILL BE THERE FOR ME OR LIKE THEY'LL SAY WE'RE GREAT FRIENDS BUT REALLY IM JUST THE PUSHOVER FRIEND THAT CAN MAKE YOU SMILE OCCASIONALLY AND IT WOULDN'T BE A GENUINE FRIENDSHIP
I DON'T WANT THAT
i left all of my friends last year after prom in april and I'll see them around in the hallway or on campus and they look so happy like they don't miss me or they don't need me and maybe im being ridiculous but its like, i was friends with them for at least 5 years. And they were always closer to each other than they were with me and i could see that but i just ignored it cuz no one wants to admit that to themselves
And my guy best friend he's busy half the time so it's not like we get to talk to each other much
My other "best friend" is too fucking obsessed with her ex girlfriend and refuses to move on when her ex has and her ex is just using her as a fall back and im just jabsnakdvaskaqkdjsjs
So yeah im sad im over school im over the people at school im over waking up at 5 to get ready for another 8 hours with white trash and people with bitchy attitudes who think they're fucking royalty im over doing the sAME FUCKING THING EVERY DAMN DAY LIKE FUCKING HELL MAN
so thanks for reading lmao byeeee it is 10:10 i need to go to sleep but i wanna cry so i mean hey whatevs what's good here's my baby halsey
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