Lean on me.

Chapter 19- im making a fresh start, so here goes.

Chapter 19- I'm making a fresh start. So here goes.

* 6 months on from the death of James (Jamie) Davidson*

ARIELLE'S P.O.V

I sat alone at the island counter in the kitchen. The past few months had given me food for thought. I had cut out any men from my life, in the sense that I still had guy friends, but none who were anything more. Losing Jamie was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through and I know it sounds crazy, but it was easier on my own. I missed how things used to be. When I was simple, geeky Arielle that no guy would ever be interested in. Back then I had my friends - and more importantly my brother. I know everyone probably hates me for some of the decisions that I've made along the way, but I'm moving on now. I'm making a fresh start. So here goes.

I arrived early to ballet class. Bennett was already inside, setting up with Miss D. I greeted them and took a seat, opening my bag. Once I had my shoes on, I got up and stretched at the barre. Bennett approached me carefully, "Hey Ari", he smiled. "Hi", I replied curtly. "So um... On Saturday night, I was wondering if maybe you would want to go for a drink or something. We could invite everyone-", I cut him off before he could finish, "Listen Bennett. I'm really not a party girl. I would much rather stay at home and read a good book or watch a soppy movie... Thanks, but no thanks", I said blankly before welcoming in the dancers that were starting to pour in.

After a quick warm up, Miss D gathered everyone on the floor. She started to explain that there was an announcement to be made but before she could tell us what it was, the door opened to reveal Callie and Juliet, my friends.... followed by Adrian. Callie jumped happily to face us and continued from where Miss D had left off. "So as you can see, Adrian is back. He has now been appointed headmaster of the Royal Academy of Ballet in London. He has put forward one of our very own for a scholarship!". Wow! That's incredible! No doubt Bennett will get it. He was incredible in swan lake. I would miss him, but he deserved it. "So, Miss Arielle Davidson. Congratulations!", added Adrian. Wait, what?! I had won a scholarship? But Bennett hadn't? Why me? I'm not even that good! Juliet is better than me. I was deafened by the sound of applause and the cheers.Some of the girls came to hug me while others simply gathered to compliment me and say how I deserved it. I looked over at Bennett. Callie and Juliet were standing with him. They were all smiling at me... And crying. Callie didn't really seem to care and let her tears flow freely. Juliet and Bennett were clearly trying to hold theirs back but their eyes were glazed anyway. I thanked the girls around me and made my way over to them. Jules pulled me into a right hug. "You visit, you hear me? We'll come and see you too", she said, planting a kiss on my head before moving off. Callie gave me a quick hug and ran off too. Bennett and I were left staring at each other. "I honestly thought he was going to say your name Bennett. You deserve this much more than I do. Besides... I'm not sure I'm even going to go", I said honestly. I wasn't sure I was ready to leave home yet. It would have been an easier decision to make with Jamie around. He could have told me exactly what I should do. "Are you crazy? Arielle, you have to go. This is what you've wanted your entire life! The reason I asked you to go out for a drink on Saturday was because Adrian had already told me and I thought we should celebrate. Ari, you can apply to the music programme too! You can sing just like you've always wanted... Why are you even thinking about turning it down?", Bennett replied emphatically. "I'm not sure I'm ready to leave... I feel like I've let so many people down and ruined so many relationships with people that it wouldn't be right to just up and leave. I need to fix everything. And do you know what the worst part about all of this is? The relationship that was probably the most ignored is now the one that I can't fix. Jamie's gone and I don't know that I can go on without my big brother", I said, trying hard to fight the tears. I bit my lip and looked up into Bennett's eyes. He didn't say anything for a while but when he did, he pulled me into his arms first. "Listen to me Arielle. You have done everything beautifully. Albeit, a few mistakes along the way but we all make them. Jamie loved you and you know that. But what's done is done Ari. You can't change the past. What you can do, is ensure your future. Think about what you want for once, not what you think everyone else expects of you", he said at last. "Thank you", I replied simply, "thank you for everything Bennett".

JASON'S P.O.V

Nathan and I stood silently, staring at Jamie's headstone. It read:

James William Davidson.
Beloved son, brother and friend.
"Who knew angels lived among us? Let alone in our homes?".
July 5th 1995 - 16th April 2014.

I laid down the bouquet of flowers that we had brought for him onto the grass. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and closed my eyes for a moment. "Hey Jamie", said Nathan, "So you see, Arielle isn't doing so well... She misses you - we all miss you". "So um... We were wondering if maybe you could just come back?.. Just for a bit... For Arielle.... She needs you Jamie. I need you too", I added, barely holding it together. Every time we visited him, I felt like I was going to fall apart inside. The pain in my chest was killing me. I felt like Jamie was being stubborn. We were all suffering while he was watching down on us instead of being here with us. "Please?", I heard Nate mutter. None of us said anymore. We just stood there crying. Mourning over our dearly departed friend, James William Davidson.

[AN:- an early update?! Well I was feeling inspired so I thought I would write. I've had serious writers block with the last few chapters, writing whatever made sense really. But I think I've got my mojo back. I've had some comments about some of Arielle's decisions so I thought if reiterate to you all that she isn't perfect. She's going to make some mistakes and some bad choices but that's no reason not to enjoy the story. The book will be drawing to a close soon but there will be a sequel. I already have the outline in my head and know how I want to write it roughly. Once I have finished this book, I'm going to go through it and edit it so things will change in it. You may want to read the book again once I've done it but it's up to you. As soon as this one is finished and editing is underway/complete (I might start writing before I finish editing but I'm not sure yet) I will make a start on the new book! Again, thank you for your support and love everyone. Lets aim for 3,300 votes for the next chapter please! Love you all, thanks.

-Gillyan xo]