The Powerful Desire

Paradise Atlast 🏝❤️

Packing bags, grabbing snacks, dancing, laughing just enjoying his company. Nothing in the world could make this day any better. I yearned to be with him every second the way i would light up when he was around the way his heart would race when we kissed. We were inseparable.... You know how you be wishing and praying for something to stay perfect and shit plummets? Like to hell and high waters? Well this time was one of those moments but not to hell more or so 6ft under . Yes i jinked myself, anyways so we got into this big ass argument the other night cause he had some bitch in his phone that he was entertaining. Bullshit? Well it would've been if i didn't see it coming already. In the mix of the happy and the fun we fade between each other for some reason he becomes protective over his phone. He doesn't post about us his phone goes off all hours of the night he's gotta be cheating. Simply because i love him i give him time to come clean to admit to what he's doing to man up. Does he? Of course not, i found out for myself when i went out with some girl friends to the mall while he was at a football game with his bros. At least that's what he told me, we pulled up just to make sure he was there... he was. Cuddled on the same bitch he told me he wasn't interested in. Smh but that's what i get hmmm, y'all know damn well i confronted his ass made a big ass scene. To the point where i said fuck him, if a person loves you they won't cheat or hurt you. When i tell you i love that man with every bone in my body every inch of my heart. I had got my heart broken by not only my forever but my best friend. Wow. How could you embarrass me like that let alone stay there and sit with her she obviously meant more to you then i did. I don't see why i can't just have him he was mine. If i could keep his soft hair through my fingers, soft lips pressed against mine, his hands gliding on my sides. You were my forever now your off and with some random fronting like your in love. I know what being in love feels like and it's cause you showed me, how could you even give anyone else a peek at what was sacred to me. Have you ever treasured an item because of the memories it holds then you loose it? That's what loosing you felt like. Hell on earth....but why didn't i cry? I felt empty, too empty to cry, too empty to love, too empty to even look for love. Days, weeks, months go by and your with this girl still so fuck it i'm done trying. Well still gotta live my life months go by, time heals. I mean atleast that's what they say, well i decided to get back on my high horse and start dating again. Im driving to go on a date cause my friends convinced me that i need to meet new people cause its been a whole 7 months so out of no where my friends car starts making this clunk noise and since i know alot about cars i know theres something wrong with the transmitor so i get out and lift the hood and its smoking so i call my friend and ask if she has triple A and as im talking to her a familiar burgundy camaro with silver stripes slowly drives by then speeds off and im like that was him... no im tripping. Was it him? So the car makes a U turn and parks facing the front of my hood and i look as the high beams come off and the one and only comes out the car and my heart starts beating out my chest its him.... Its him...as he says "I thought you knew all about cars?" and he giggles "Shut up i know all about them just not how to fix this one" "But...you need a jump?" "Sure" He walks behind me to get to the passenger side of his car and his hand ever so gently glides across my waist and my body is filled with goosebumps his hand departs from me as i glance to see  him get the jumper cables and hes smiling oh my god this jerk did it on purpose play it off act like you dont want him anymore  (hard to believe yeah i know hard for me to believe myself)  we hook the cables up and let the battery charge some and im walking towards the drivers side of his car and you know how hard it is to not feel yourself drenching at the sight of a chocolate man helping you with your car while hes in your favorite car and your the damsel in distress ive never loved to play victim but lord knows the way he would move on top of me and id claw his back the breaths would - - in the mix of me drooling over him he says "Ayanna, its good to go now" Omg did he see me staring! "Thanks! I appreciate it." "Its the least i could do for a damsel in distress" YO DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD " Righttttt" as we laugh so he puts the cables away and i close the hoods and its that awkward moment where you see the love of your life for the first time in a long time and you dont know what to talk about how to bring up convesation i kinda just twiddled with my fingers and he twisted his hair then i realized we were best friends why cant i talk then he leans against his car knowing stuff like that triggers me and he ask "hows your boyfriend?" "What boyfriend?" "Hows your girlfriend?" i ask "What girlfriend?" as a smile forms across the both of our faces. He takes my hand and says "What do we do?" "I don't know but i never lost feelings, i know you did."  as i pull my hand away. "Who said i lost feelings?" "You can't go off and be with someone else and be committed if you have feelings for someone else." "Baby come here..." "Don't. You lost feelings." "I didn't if i told you right now that i loved you. You wouldn't believe me?" "I don't know. I wanna believe you" "Then let me show you that i love you." He takes my hand and he pulls me towards him slowly and he glides his hands down my sides. Then he smiles noticing the goosebumps i've got, he looks up to me with that look. The kinda look that drives woman wild, the look of wanting what's in front of you, savoring it when you get it in your hands. "Wanna go to my house or should we go to yours? Let's go watch a movie and eat pizza like we used to." "Let's go to my place." FUCK I FELL INTO THE TRAP! But who tf gonna pass him up? ughhh. We riding in his car he keeps looking over at me strangely i can't stop looking at him. No words are exchanged until we pull up in my driveway he says "We ordering the pizza or are you making it?" "i can make it, unless you wa--" "Good cause i like when you make it." I smile as we get out of the car. For those wondering her cars in the shop don't worry i aint leave it there. We go inside and i take my shoes off and hang my stuff up as he closes the door and takes his shoes off. I walk towards my room "Hey you can just make yourself comfortable i'm gonna go change" "Aight, i gotchuuu". I go into my room and change into my tank top and wonder woman shorts. I come out into the kitchen and see him in just his shorts dancing in the kitchen while eating my grapes. "Excuse me?" " Uhhhh see what had happened was it started out with me tasting one of them now i have to taste them all cause i killed there family member". I bust out laughing and say "You can just have them all Ty." "Gooooood look." Like his ass wasn't gonna take them anyway. I get the dough and sauce out for the pizza and he sits on the counter just watching me. I roll the dough and spread the sauce before adding  a ton of cheese and some pepperonis. I put it in the oven and set the time before cleaning up. " I gotta question." He randomly blurts out. " "Yeah what's up?" "Why don't you have a nigga?" "Um well i honestly haven't been looking for one i'm not really good at meeting new people or socializing with people." "Since when?" "Since i realized i don't need anyone". He gets quiet before continuing to eat the grapes then he smiles and goes into my room.  I give it a few seconds until i look into my room and see him looking at this old picture of me and him in high school. "I told you it's my favorite." He jumps not realizing i was standing there. I giggle and sit next to him on the bed "didn't mean to scare you.". He smiles before he puts it on my night stand and laying down next to me. "Come here" I lay next to him and adore him as he smiles while his hand glides up my side. "Your so perfect." I say quietly he giggles and i loose all glimpses of reality all things that were impossible are now possible. I'm in a trance where my body does what it wants, but do i even want to stop it? Why not let it do as it pleases. My finger tips slowly glide down his bottom lip. There's so soft, there pure, full of secrets i move my my hand and slowly make it to his side. Still looking at his lips he slowly licks them and my heart starts racing. There everything, i look up and see him looking at me and think in this split second. His lips are mine, he leans in and kisses me. My breath taken from me my heart beating a mile a second, my body's shut down too weak to even pressed back against him. He slowly pulls away, i gain the little bit of strength i found and pull him back to me and continue kissing him. He smiles and so do i as he puts me on top of him and the kisses feel like being touched by angels. He sits up as i stay in his lap hands on his neck and jaw pleading the kisses never stop. I have never wanted something so bad, until now. His hands on my waist his grip getting tighter as the kisses get more passionate. I quietly trying to keep content with what i'm getting. I once again loose control of what my body does and what i say and he starts kissing on my neck. A simple "please" slides out of my mouth and he pulls my shirt off, "Please" "I thought you didn't need anyone?" He says as he continues to kiss on me. "I don't need anyone but you...".