Times - h.s.

The Spoken Feelings

It's 12:30 in the morning and I want to go to sleep but all I can manage to do is think about Harry, so naturally, I found myself in my car driving to his house. I contemplated turning back around at every stoplight, but somehow my foot managed to press the gas and continue to take me forward.

My car came to a stop as I parked in front of the familiar home, and maybe I should have called him, but instead I walked up to the door. My steps were slow and cautious, not wanting to accidentally trip on the way up, and my hands were shaking with nervousness. I should have spent my ride here planning what I was going to say, but instead I had aimless thoughts. Now I was actually here.

Raising my hand, I prepared to knock on the door but reluctantly put my hand down and took time to think about what I was about to do. Turn back around and go home, you idiot. Then I knocked.

I waited about thirty seconds before I began to second guess myself and was spinning on my heel when I heard the locks turning in place. The door swung open and I looked over my shoulder, and there he was, standing in his full shirtless and sleepy glory.

My eyes trailed to his chest and took in every detail of his tattoos that I only saw in pictures, every dark line and mark and swirl that covered his flesh looking much more enticing in person, and my mouth watering at the sight of his pants being slung lowly across his hips.

"Lex?" Harry confusedly asked, holding the door open with his right arm as the left was brought up to his eyes to rub them. The muscles in his forearm flexed at the motion and I found myself struggling to form any type of sentence let alone thought.

Speak!

"Hi." I mumbled, shifting awkwardly on my feet and gripping my crossbody strap tightly. Harry blinked a few more times and then pushed his curls off his forehead before leaning his body against the doorframe and crossing his arms.

"Um, what are you doing here?" He asked, truly puzzled at my random appearance at this hour. "I mean, not that I don't want to see you," he added, making my heart flutter, "but really, what are you doing here?"

My hands let go of the strap and fell to my sides. "I have to tell you something." I answered.

When he didn't say anything and just continued to stare, I spoke again. "Could we sit down?" I hopefully asked, really wishing that he would give me the time to talk about this situation.

"Yeah, of course, um, come on in." He held the door open for me and I stepped inside and noticed all the empty bottles of beer strewn across the tile of his living room. This is why he couldn't answer his phone?

I shake all judgement away from my head and face Harry, not realizing that he was trailing right behind me and almost crashing into his chest. "Oh my god, sorry." I apologize, putting my hands up. I continue walking to the couch and take a seat, Harry's small chuckles filling the silence of the room as he also sits.

"I'm sorry for the mess... I mean, if I would've known you were coming I would've cleaned up the place a bit." He awkwardly laughs and ruffs up his hair again. The dim lamp coming from his kitchen is the only source of light in the entire place and the features of his face that normally look sharp look soft and simple now.

"Harry, I need to tell you something really important." I abruptly say.

"Is everything okay?"

"No." I blurt, making his face fall into a frown. "Yes, it will be, but that's why I need you to listen to me."

Harry leans forward in his sitting position and has completely zoned in on me. Before I potentially fuck up my life, I take in the scene before me: me, sitting in Harry's house at one in the morning while he sits shirtless before me, the only sound in the entire place being our breathing and the purr of a cat who is perched on a dining set chair. Am I going to choose to ignore the major
details he has forgotten to mention to me about his past? Yes, yes I am. Here goes absolutely everything.