Times - h.s.

The Short Exchange

2 weeks later.

    There are few things that come to mind when I think of love. I think of my grandfather, and how we was the most prominent father figure I had whilst growing up. The love he had for his family, the love he had for me - a love incomparable to anything. I always think of the moments we shared in our times of solidarity. My grandfather was a very guarded man, but I always felt that with me, he was anything but. I loved him dearly.

I also think of the my mother, and the love she had for her only child - me. This love was somewhat toxic, her only angel being the center of her attention and always unintentionally overstepping boundaries. It was a love that didn't go unnoticed, was sometimes unwanted, but much appreciated nonetheless. My mom's love for me taught me that it's possible to love others unconditionally.

The last thing I think of is my love for my best and dearest friends. I think it's admirable how you do not have to be related to someone in order to feel connected to them. How, you don't need to grow up with someone in order for them to understand the person you are in the moment. They understand because they just know, and that's enough. And the fact that they understand, and that they know, and that they are still present in your life after the latter - that deserves love. They deserve love. The love they have for me and the love I have for them is unable to be withered. 

That's it's though. That's all I think of.

I don't think of being in a relationship with anyone. Having a significant other? A foreign thought. An intrusive thought. I will not spend time trying to convince myself that I need someone to emotionally depend on. I'm doing just fine.

A loud vibration from my phone on my wooden desk breaks the harrowing silence in the room. A text from Harry.

Speaking of intrusive thoughts.

Lex, please reply... I m-

I don't have time to read the rest. I need a clear mind. I cannot believe that I allowed myself to get sidetracked by him. I cannot believe that I allowed myself to jeopardize my one shot at my dream job because of him. I cannot believe that he did this.

Harry Styles, America's Sensational Heartthrob:
Who would have thought that Mr. Styles himself would actually be the heartthrob with no heart! Styles, 23, shot up to stardom when he emerged in a pop band that showcased his talent. Years later, we now see the artist as he has managed to manipulate the world around him - men, women, and children alike. Talent? Yes. Honesty?

Styles has been accused of being a womanizer, but through years of accusation the singer has denied such thing. However, our sources would say otherwise after recent occurrences. Sounds like our man of honor isn't so honorable after all.

I shut my laptop with such a force that it cause Mark to snap his head up and look at me with concern, but I ignore it and immediately stand up from my desk to head out. I need fresh air.

The day is gloomy and the temperature has started to drop drastically, the wind whipping my air across my face. I cannot help but feel an overwhelming sense of hurt and regret in the pit of my stomach but I can't seem to figure out why.

Actually, I do know why, but I would refuse to ever say so out loud. I feel betrayed and humiliated. By Harry. The words that stumbled out of Mark's mouth as he informed me of how Harry had been in a previous relationship in which he treated the girl horribly was enough to make me livid - for the sole fact that I had thought that him and I were finally bonding, only for him to leave me out of the loop of such an important thing in his life. I guess I'm the idiot though for not doing enough research on him and taking all of his words for it.