2 Questions Every Girl is Asking Herself

Chapter 9

The rejection left me feeling gloomy even on a sunny afternoon. Luckily shortly after lunch, Cloud, the Beijing tour guide I met in Xi Shuang Ban Na, came to meet up with me at the teahouse. I gingerly demonstrated my musicality by giving him a live performance of the song I'd just learned on Gu Zheng. He was impressed. And remarked on my ability to play with only one finger.

We then spent the afternoon getting a tour of the Palace of Peace and Harmony Lama Temple, walked around town and had BBQ for dinner. He cheered me right up.

I guess with Cloud we had this special bond different from the other men I met. I would almost call it – camaraderie. Like two soldiers who'd fought side by side in the trenches against the jabs and ridicule of the talk show host, fighting for public entertainment while attempting to damage control against public humiliation. This thrillingly embarrassing piece of memory only he and I share. I went to the show alone, the rest of my tour group had already gone to the airport, and there were no recordings of the evening. He's the only person I could reminisce this unique experience with, the only witness who knew that it actually happened.

Except there was one thing that evening he didn't share with me, or with the rest of the audience. And I'd always been curious about that.

"What exactly did you say to the third guy to make him get off the stage and give you his spot?"

Cloud smiled, "I said, 'bro, do you actually want to do this? Coz I really want to do this. The reason I came up last is not because I run slow, it's because I have a lot more distance to cover. I ran down here all the way from the second floor VIP section, while you guys sit 3 rows away from the stage. How about you just let me take your spot?' So he let me take his spot. Sometimes, all you gotta do, is ask."

Cloud has an interesting explanation for why it was the highlight of our trips. He said it's about participation. Whenever you participate, everything becomes ten times more fun. Why do people go to football stadiums to watch the games live when they could've just as easily seen it on TV, probably more clearly with bigger picture? It's because they want to participate, to feel the excitement inside the stadium. They become a part of the game. That's happiness.

Cloud went to Yunnan with a bunch of executives as a VIP group, 4 star hotels, no shopping, pure pleasure. They dropped a bunch of dough, expected to be treated like the sultans of Beijing, but when things didn't go their way, they'd grow angry and throw a fit. They couldn't let go of their egos. They'd order "intimate encounter" like a dish on the menu, and refuse to race up stage to play games with the host. You could have the best seat in the house, get bottle service every time, but if you take yourself too seriously, you could still end up having an absolutely dull-ass trip.

Cloud has been a tour guide for many years and has met many people. Every time they get on the tour bus he would always tell his tourists to check their egos at the door, and leave the sense of inferiority at home. You're here to have a good time. So have a good time. He looks at me and says, "You probably have had to work really hard in Canada, a really stressful job. That's why when you're back here in China, nothing can get you down. You don't want to think, you just want to be happy. That's great. I like that about you."

"But you'll probably have a hard time finding a boyfriend. Because you're too spontaneous, too open to meeting new people. Easygoing to a fault where people assume you're easy. A lot of guys probably can't take that. It'll drive them crazy knowing you'll befriend some stranger, whenever you're out alone. But it's also part of your charm. It doesn't mean you're easy. You're very serious when it comes to choosing boyfriends. But most guys won't understand that. If you're lucky, maybe you'll meet someone who does, and he'll be a great man."