2 Questions Every Girl is Asking Herself

Chapter 13

I'm like a traveler in training. At first I'd only sign up for 8 day, 5 day trips with travel agencies that would take care of literally EVERYTHING, and even though this was inefficient in the sense that I would need to come back to Tianjin after every trip, it was completely thinking and hassle free. It does have its limitations in enjoy-ability, because you're constantly rushed to get from one place to another, none of the cultural immersion gets to occur.

Gradually, as I began to feel more comfortable about the land, I bought myself a train ticket to Xi'an, with no pre-planning, without even knowing where I was going to stay when I got there, and only a vague idea of what I'd like to see. For the second month in China, I managed to take myself to Xi'an, JiuZhaiGou (nine-village valley), HuangLong (yellow dragon), and Chengdu.

In Xi'an, I stayed at a youth hostel – Seven Sages. It's a cute little place, oozing Chinese history. White walls, gray tiles, rosewood lattice windows and doors. Two terra cotta warriors guarded the perimeter, looking solemn and serious as ever. A few stems of young bamboo adorned the walls. Next to them, a swing chair in distressed metal – an antique finish.

I sat in the courtyard, reading my favourite book for the nth time, sipping at my cup of jasmine tea, scribbling down notes in my little brown book.

I sat there and waited for inspiration. Or is inspiration like love, it only creeps up on you when you least expect it? I know that's what a lot of people say, but my personal experience begs to differ. I've never fallen in love without being mentally prepared for it first. Only then, would I meet the guy I'd later fall in love with. It's like what my friend Will says in his blog, you have to give yourself permission to shine before it can happen.

Love, inspiration, feelings are all repressible. And we North Americans, after years of expensive education, are accustomed to favor logic over emotion in a lot of life's big and small decisions. We don't allow love or inspiration to flourish if the timing isn't right., if the place isn't right, if the people aren't right. And like flowers, they certainly won't grow if the growing conditions aren't there.

This trip is kind of like the hot house, the sun, the water, and the time I'm providing for inspiration to grow. The seed is within me, in the right growing conditions, it'll make its way out of the soil and then perhaps I'll have a better sense of direction.