If you want to contact him instantly, the best way is to go to your nearest Burger King. Order nothing, except for 30 buckets of mayonnaise and a diet water.
(They'll give it to you, if you threaten to sue for not allowing it to be your way) If you mix all the mayonnaise into the diet water, and stir them. A magical vortex will appear, this will take you to the lost civilization known as "The Land of Sexual Offenderman". Once you get there, a munchkin will greet you by performing the Traditional Sexual Offenderman greeting :a smack on the ass. Once you get done ,ask to see Sexual Offenderman. The munchkins will take you to his secret lair. But then, you will see the sexual Offenderman. He wears nothing, except for a lone woman's thong ,located on his forehead. Instead of having tentacles on the sides of him (Like slenderman),his tentacles are located where his member should be.You will sit down next to him, and will engage in nice conversation about the issues of global warming. Then, you will be asked to leave. You will be given a rainbow dildo on a stick as a souvenir, and if you rub it three times , a transvestite midget genie will pop out.
A/n : I don't know if this really work but comment if it did . Also this is for my best friend that asked for the Offenderman summoning.
YOU ARE READING
Creepypasta Summonings
DiversosWhat the title said!👆 BTW I can't add pictures in my books because I have to make space on my phone but I will let you guys know if I added pictures
