It's been a week since he's been gone I can't feel myself anymore everything feels numb I miss his smile and when ever I cried he was always there im so fucking stupid how couldn't I realized from the start that he loved me I was so lost in wanting jinyoung that I didn't see him I want to hold him and tell him how much I love him why did it have to all end this way
"Mark sweetie you haven't ate in a week please open the door I know you miss him hell we all do but he wouldn't want you to be like this he would want you to smile and laugh not cry about him being gone" bam bam said on the other side of my door I cant do it anymore life ain't the same without him but bammie is right I need to try at least that's what jackson would've wanted right?
I opened the door and bam hugged me yugyeom did too I'm happy that these two are always there I walked into the living room surprised to see jinyoung and youngjae on the couch laughing at what ever they were talking about
"Heys guys I got th-" jaebum said while barging through the front door everyone got silent looking at me I bet I looked like a mess eyes red and puffy from crying and not getting any sleep skin pale my body looked thinner than what it was I was fragile I didn't have a appetite anymore food was useless and sleep only reminded me of the days when we were happy together
"Mark baby don't cry" youngjae hugged me damn I can't even notice when I'm crying any more jinyoung got up slowly unsure if I was okay with him hugging me then there was jaebum standing infront of us I wanted to blame him make him feel like it was all his fault but it wasnt if anything the only person at fault was me I'm the killer not jaebum
Being mad at him won't fix the the fact that Jackson isn't coming back so I hugged jaebum and he hugged me back once we pulled away youngjae clapped his hands and said "well how about we eat I'm starved and as you all could see mark looks like he could use something to eat too"
Everyone nodded and we went to the kitchen and had dinner together like a family if only jackson was here
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Once everyone left I went into my room and went through pictures and videos of me and Jackson
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