Louis
Rocks.
I've been thinking about that a lot lately. No not actual rocks but just like stability rocks. Like a foundation for life or something.
Harry Styles has also been on my mind a lot lately. I try to push him out of my thoughts but it doesn't seem to want to happen. I think of my school classes like Maths or English but it always just reminds me of the first day of school when I would look around the class but find myself looking at Harry fondly after our 4 word conversations.
Harry seems shy around people in the halls. He looks at everyone as if they are all these special things that are holding on to life with their bare hands. He looks at things with such passion as if he cares so much about absolutely everything.
But when people in the hallway look at him, he flinches like he was just touched by the fire from hell. He looks at them exactly the same though, as if he cared about everything they've ever had to say but not having the strength himself to ask.
But when I went over to his house after my absolutely idiotic outburst, he seemed; not so tense. He seemed open and casual. Like he could talk all day and all night if he wanted, but of course after I apologized and he calmed down after trying to kick me out. At least he had the confidence to tell me to leave but I was stubborn enough to stay. He listened because then again, he still looked at me and everything else in the house as if everything mattered so he let me talk.
When I would apologize he would let out a low sigh thinking I couldn't hear it but yes, yes I could. I don't know what goes on in his mind, I wish, I wish I could, but I can't.
Since I went to Harrys house I haven't talked to him. I've seen him in class and I watch him. He observes everything. He looks at girls as if they actually have meaning unlike most of the guys at our school. He looks at the guys exactly the same, with curiosity and hope for them and their lives.
It's been about 3 days since I talked to Harry and I'm honestly a little upset, it took a while to actually tell that to myself though. He looks at me everyday though, but just like he looks at everyone else, which made me a little upset.
And since I'm a stubborn bitch I'm going to Harrys house tonight. It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon, one hour after Friday class ended so I have to wait until it gets dark. I'm not being insane I just want to talk to Harry, my way.
Most people would just tell them to see them after school but I'm not actually like that. I'm a little bit more, different you could say. And plus I didn't see Harry at school much today.
-
alright it's finally 9:00 and I'm getting ready to leave.
I put on a black sweatshirt and a black skinny jeans with little rips in them and dark blue vans. *I'm trying to blend in* and plus this might be a new look, because damn Lewis.
to the door.
I walk out of my house and take a left to get to Harrys house. He lives in a smaller house, but it's cute. All the windows in the house have nice redish brown curtains covering them but I remember one window having black curtains.
I arrive at Harrys house in about 20 minutes or so because I walked slowly, letting it get darker.
To be completely honest I kind of like the dark. You know like being able to completely abandon everything in the world and just pretend your not really here.
I end up at the front door of Harrys house. If I remember correctly from when I was here last, even though we didn't go anywhere but the living room, I still looked around. But I'm pretty sure his room was closest to the back of the house, the one with black curtains to be exact.
