Stars Dance

As Normal As It Gets

We watch her collapse and the arms of the agents are around her in seconds. She's less dangerous passed out. I exhale slowly. She remembered.. Sort of. Almost. Not really. I ran a hand through my damp hair. I had taken a shower only moments ago and then the alarm goes off. It could only mean one thing. So I raced out of my room and down the hallway bumping into Natasha and Clint as I go. Everything has to be exactly the way it was before besides the lack of equipment. We can't have her destroy it every time she passes through. Sometimes the last thing she remembers is the blinding white light and searing heat as her house exploded.

Other times, she's like this. Half remembering, talking about visions. We have to explain to her what's going on and sometimes she's difficult, panicky. Sometimes she acts like we've brainwashed her and all these memories are fake. Implanted in her brain. I sigh and watch them carry her away. Once. We've gotten the whole her back once this week. She sought me out. She was dressed in gear similar to Agent Romanoff and Agent Hill. Her hair, a tangled mess, tied off into a ponytail. I think I was just about confused as she was. Her nose crinkled up in almost disgust.

"Steve." She said, hand on the gun strapped to her thigh.

"Astella." I breathed stepping away from the bag and coming toward her. I wrapped her up hug clutching to her tightly. She grunted. "Whoa! Hey you okay?" She asked putting her skinny arms around me. She still hasn't recovered from her weight loss. We've barely gotten her to eat. While she's been here.

"I just.. Yeah I'm fine.." I say breaking free and brushing her bangs out of her face.

"Wow when did these get so long?" Astella asked flipping them behind her ears. I bit my lip fighting a smile. "What's going on? I'm really confused." She said sitting down on a bench nearby. I sat with her not taking my eyes off her face. Just drinking in her presence.

"Well what's the last thing you remember?" I ask calmly. This is always the tricky part. Sometimes she snaps right away. Just as she remembers, other times it takes a while. I have to calm her down and talk quickly before she slips away again.

"I was.. I was trapped in the glass. No wait.. I got free." she says running a hand through her bangs trying to push them away from her face. "I felt like i was on fire. We defeated them. The Slyvarian. They left. I made them leave." she frowns in concentration. "Umm. You guys were all there. I was.. Overheating. Melting the concrete. I burned you." she stares at me wide-eyed.

"No you didn't." i tell her showing her my hand. The cells of my skin had regenerated. I was good as new in a few days. I hardly felt the pain in the first place.

"But everything else. That happened. I.. I exploded. Why.. Why am i still alive." she begins to shake and tears threaten to spill out.

"Shh." i whisper pulling her into my chest. She hangs onto me tightly mumbling into my shirt. "Say that again." i ask pulling away pressing my forehead against hers so i can stare into her eyes.

"I remember it. The explosion. Just as bad as the first." she laughs and it's a beautiful sound. I cna't help but laugh too. "I'm sorry Steve. How long has it been? I remember.. Bits and pieces. Walking along a dark dusty road. Getting picked up by these people." she shakes her head and bites her lip like the memories pain her and maybe they do. Maybe she'll crumple again.

"Six months." i whisper. She looks up at me scared.

"Six months." she breathes out. I nod sadly. "That's awful. I must have put you through hell." i shake my head even though she's right. "

No, no you didn't. I never gave up. I never stopped looking for you." i replied calmly stroking her cheeks with my thumbs.

"Thank you." she whispers. I sigh and kiss her forehead. "No." she says suddenly and I'm confused so i pull away and begin to let go of her. "Kiss me." she says putting one hand on the back of my neck. I smile as she leans in to me pulling herself up so that she's almost sitting on my lap. She wraps her arms securly around my neck and i rest my hands on her hips while her hands play with my hair.