Love Notes.

Take off the rose colored glasses

It's been a while. I've been back from vacation, we hung out a few times, and school started.. didn't we used to say that we most likely wouldn't argue so much once we could see each other every day? What happened to that?

I've realized that not everything is peaches and cream. We argue more than we talk. I don't want that. I want to feel calm and happy again.

Truthfully? I know I care about you. I know that every single argument is worth it when I see you smile. But damnit I feel like this is one-sided. I feel like I'm okay with giving you everything and getting nothing in return. I feel like one day you're going to decide I'm not enough or decide it's not worth it and walk away.

You constantly reassure me that you care and that you'd never leave... but.. I feel like I'm not good enough. I feel like nothing I do will ever impress you. It'll never be enough to make you look more than once, to give it a second thought. I just want to stop feeling like this...

I haven't even been writing anymore because I feel like it doesn't even matter. All you say is that you like it. But that's it, nothing else. I feel like you say it purely out of pity. I'm completely aware that I could be wrong, but I can't help it.

I feel happy with you, but lately it's nothing but argument after argument. I just want peace. I want to not feel like I'm constantly screwing things up.

I don't want to walk through our relationship looking at things through rose colored glasses. I want to be honest and talk through our issues. However, even that proves to be a difficult task.