Sick Of It

"Do you have a crush on anyone?" "No."

"Sadao, do you like anyone?" "No."

"Oi, is there anyone you want to go out with?" "No."

I'm so sick of being asked if there's anyone I have a crush on. Day after day, people come up to me, pestering me, asking me if I like anyone. Day after day, I tell them that no, I don't, but they keep on asking. They're persistent, too determined for their own good.

It's almost as if they know I'm lying.

I watch as a classmate of mine approaches me. "Sadao, do you have a crush on Ayumu?" She asks. That's a new one.

"No." I answer. She sighs, nods, and walks away. It's obvious that she knows I'm lying. I glance at Ayumu and wonder how he would feel if he knew how I felt about him. Don't get me wrong, he's far from perfect - he's usually always cynical and rude, crabby and annoyed, or distant and teary-eyed. However, when he's happy, his happiness is contagious and he would be warm end kind.

I hate feeling this way. Ayumu is only supposed to be my best friend.

I'm Sadao Murashima, and I'm in love with the class depressed asshole - slash - my best friend, Ayumu Yamashita.

Sometimes, like now, my mind wanders and I imagine myself holding him close, returning the embrace, kissing him. Sometimes I take it too far in my imagination, though.

It makes me feel disgusting, how badly I want him to be called my boyfriend.

What kind of a friend am I?