Road To Nationals // Hunter Clarington

{Chapter 6} 5 : 04

Rose's POV

Mr. Shue walks in excitedly. "All right, big week, guys. Come on. Gather round. I have here in my hand- drumroll, please-" He pauses for us to do a drumroll. "a secret list of the show choirs that we will be in competition with at Nationals in six weeks." He reveals. We all 'ooh' and look around happily. "Let's see what we got. We got the Rust-Belters from Pittsburgh, the Thunder Showcats from Gainesville, and finally, from Fort Wayne, Throat Explosion." 

"No! Why God?" Tina yells, then groans. I muffle my laughs on Hunter's shoulder. "Uh, what? Throat Explosion? That's a joke, right?" Jake asks. "Anything but. They're the new supergroup the Show Choir Underground's been buzzing about. Their budgets for costume, makeup, hair alone are astronomical. You guys have read that Malcolm Gladwell book Outliers, right?" Blaine asks. He sighs then turns to me. "So, Gladwell says you can't possibly master anything unless you've spent 10,000 hours practicing it. So students can't even join Throat Explosion without proving they've logged in 10,000 hours of show choir rehearsal." I explain.

"They don't even go to class. They just perform, every minute of every day. They live their art. They know no boundaries. They're constantly pushing the envelope, living and performing on the edge." Blaine continues. "They're like mini Lady Gagas." I sum it all up. "We're so screwed- they're not like Vocal Adrenaline, who were unfeeling Borg robots. They're total outsiders and misfits, which used to be our niche. We can't compete with Throat Explosion at that level because we lost our biggest Gaga when Kurt graduated last year. Look around, we're a room full of, like, Katy Perrys' now." Tina rambles.

I cover her mouth with my hand. "All right, that's enough of you." I tell her. "Oh, you best check your spectrum, Queen T, because orange is the new black, and Unique is the new Gaga." Unique informs. "Well, not Marley- she's a Katy Perry. So is Sam, so is Blaine." Tina breaks from my hold. "I'm a Katy Perry and I'm proud of it." Blaine comments. "Uh, the truth is, Tina, we're a potent mix of Katy Perrys' and Lady Gagas' in here. But it't not a liability- it's the way we're gonna beat Throat Explosion. Some of us in here are, you know, ambi-edge." Mr. Shue gestures to Unique.

"Ambi-edge? You just made that up." Artie states. "Uh, some of us are more, you know, wholesome, innocent, romantic, all-American girl- and boy-next-door types. Uh, who in here would describe themselves as a Gaga?" Mr. Shue questions. Three- including my brother- raise their hands. I laugh at him and he notices only two girls raised their hands, and puts his down with wide eyes. "Okay, great. And the rest of you are Katys'?" Mr. Shue inquires.

"Is there a third option?" Ryder wonders. "We're gonna mix it up a little bit. We're turning our weaknesses into our strengths. This week, the Katys' will get their Gaga on and the Gagas will bring the Katy. Throat Explosion does their one thing very, very well, but we need to be able to do both, impeccably, or else we're not gonna have a chance in hell at winning Nationals this year." Mr. Shue says.

"Oh, on the topic of Nationals. It's in L.A. and so is Syco Records. Rose, when are you going?" Blaine asks turning to me. "Um, well, I thought I would go the week of Nationals, so that I'm not missing school, because that would be a travesty." I answer. "What's up with you and always being in school?" Jake inquires. "I've never missed a day of school in my whole life. I'm not starting now." I respond. "So you still come to school when you're sick?" Ryder questions. "No, I don't get sick." I reply and the bell rings.

||//\\||//\\||//\\||//\\||//\\||//\\||

"All right Gagas, I'm taking over this Monster Ball, since I'm obviously the edgiest one in the group. And as a former teen stripper, I understand the... power of theatricality and performativity." Sam explains. "Yeah, but what-what are they building?" Hunter wonders and points to the students. "The future, Hunter. They're building the future." Sam answers. "Sam, did you take your medicine today? You're starting to sound a little cuckoo." I spin my finger in a circle around my ear. "How did you know I didn't?" He asks. "Wait, you have medicine?" I ask. "Yes. All right, we're gonna get scary and weird and controversial." Sam states.

"Uh, hence the catwalk?" Blaine questions. "We're taking it into the audience, Blaine, right in thir faces and we're gonna drop-kick the fourth wall." Sam tells him. "Are those strobe lights?" Artie inquires. "Believe it!" Sam exclaims and points at him. "Because some kids might be epileptic." Artie informs him. "Is it a seizure of is it just hardcore next-level break-dancing? I don't know. Come one, guys, I need sick ideas- if we're gonna impress Penny, this things has to be so crazy that it's declared legally and clinically insane." Sam throws his hands up.

"What if we had, like, sparklers but we're inside?" Marley suggests. "That's crazy." Marley says. "Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Or-or, uh, confetti, only shaped like human skulls." Ryder adds. "No! No, no, no, no! No, those ideas suck! You're not thinking edgy and fresh! You're thinking safe and tired and boring!" Sam scolds. I roll my eyes. "Okay, look, here. Take the sheet music for 'Applause,' okay? Learn it. Own it. Live it. And then strap in because right- Hey, hey, hey. Hey, Artie." Sam snaps his fingers at Artie. "We're not doing this for Glee Club. We're doing this in front of the entire school. And, yes, Penny the school nurse will be in the attendance." Sam announces. 

Marley gasps. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go guarantee a sold-out show." Sam tells us. "How are you gonna do that?" Marley asks. "The same way Gaga would: by recruiting some Little Monsters." Sam walks off. "He really needs to tone it down with his obsession with this new nurse." I state.

Seriously, he's need to chill the frick out.