I told myself three weeks ago that I would leave in four. I've gotten used to this place though, and know I'll miss it when I'm gone. I plan to leave in a week, although I think Lily and Kat want me to stay. Lily said it will be too quiet when I'm gone, and Kat said I'm the closest thing shes had to a sister in her whole life, but I need to continue. I've saved all of my wages, not buying anything except a coat and shoes.
I've changed in the last month. I used to be quiet and hide in the background, although I guess both of those are still true, but I don't feel as weak anymore. I feel much stronger. I've put on a bit more weight and gone for a run a couple times. It was nice to just go. But it's gotten much colder now, being December. There isn't a lot of snow, but it's supposed to snow by Christmas in two weeks.
The whole town has lights and decorations up. One morning I walked through the town on my day off, and was mesmerized by the sight. It was beautiful, absolutely remarkable. A few people stopped and stared as I froze, mesmerized by them.
The past five years, Christmas was a sandwich and he'd celebrate by- 'That's the past' I thought, 'leave it there.' Although I can never get it out of my head. He pops into my head at the strangest times, when I'm least expecting it. I've had nightmares almost every night, waking up kicking and screaming. I feel bad because it wakes Kat and Lily up. I can never sleep after one, so I usually see the sun rise every morning, and every morning it takes my breath away. I plan to see every sunrise I can, knowing I missed out on five and a half years of them.
This morning I woke up with tears streaming down my face, as I yelled 'stop' over and over again. I was thrashing around when Lily came rushing in to the room and just held me. Like every night, she held me until I calmed down. Then she got up and brought me to the balcony over the store.
"I'm sorry." I said barely above a whisper.
"It's no problem, I just wish I knew how to stop them. I thought you would have them less frequently it's been almost a month."
"Four weeks."
"You seem to be keeping time better these days."
"It's easier with calendars." I immediately regretted it the moment it came out of my mouth.
"What?" I was hoping she would drop it but she just stared at me, expectedly.
"I said it's easier to keep track of days when you can physically see clocks and calendars." I barely whispered it, but I knew she heard me.
"Where were you before?"
"Hell." The sun burned brighter, the sky illuminated by the glow. The animals slowly waking.
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YOU ARE READING
Never Again.
ActionAt fourteen my life was flipped upside down. And not for good. I was held captive for many years. I didn't know the day, year or month it was. I didn't know whether I was far away from home, or beside it. How much of my life had I missed? How much...
