I finally confessed to the guy I liked and he kindly turned me down. My heart hurt and I wanted to cry but I wouldn't be defeated so easily. We we're still friends and maybe I could get him to like me back. The day after I confessed he began to be more friendly. He sat with me on the bus for the first time, He smiled when he saw me. But didn't he say he didn't like me like that?He confused me so much. My one friend on the bus said she noticed it to. He was hard to read unlike the other guys. I wanted to just make him mine so badly and every time he turned me down for some reason my heart would hurt. I've always put up a shield after my first love ended badly but I just seemed to want to let him in so I did and now my emotions are all over the place. Today I asked one of my friends how to play the hand game just so I could touch his hand and make sure I really liked him before I got in to deep and couldn't get away. I wanted to find out if I felt that spark. I sat with him on the bus and did the hand game moving my fingertips over the creases in his hand counting them for the hand game; that is my cover up. I counted seven and said he was gonna have seven children since that's how the game went. Then he started counting my creases I felt the warmth from his fingertips run over my hand and it felt wonderful. I think I love him. That's all I know for now. I'll keep updating my dear journal.
