Sorry Ive been gone so long journal but I've been busy. For three days now I've been ignoring my crush. I've been swapping seats with the other guys but today was his turn to sit with me and of course I let him. He's been acting jealous for the past couple of days. Which I found funny. He sat with me and at first we just talked and then he accidentally put his arm on my leg. I could feel his touch through my pants and it felt so warm. I couldn't get lost in it though. I had to keep up my shield but then he wanted to hold my hand and that was an offer I just couldn't refuse even though I wanted to so bad. I ended up holding his hand for a couple minutes. When I got off the bus I told my friend and I knew I fell back into his trap. I ended up calling my best friend that I moved away from and she told me to tell him that i was trying to get over him. I wrote this to him "Hey I just want you to know that if you really just wanna be friends then we can't do any of that holding hand stuff cause I feel like you like me like that and I'm trying to get over you and it dosent help that you do those things which I think should only be done if u like me. It hurts tryin to get over you when I still feel like there's a chance but there really isn't so can we just act like friends and forget the whole me saying I like u thing" and he responded saying he was sorry and would stop. Now I just hope he will because if not I'll be trapped all over again.
