King Of Pittiless Swamps

Prologue : Act your age

When I was six , I as in Autumnyn ; a female thirteen , five foot six , years old ... my dad always was my right hand pal. Mind you , " was. " When he finally got married , things changed. I was just me. Stuck in a child's mind and fond of his fairytales that would always keep me up every day. But my parents or you wouldn't know if I am asleep. At this very moment. For I still sleep in my hiding place down my peppermint stick pole ever since Christmas instead of my own bed in which is above me. A typical decoy stuffed human body in my bed and dimming the lights will lure in suckers. Suckers who check up on me every night. Oh. What a speech. Can you imagine what comes out of their mouths? Something along the lines of.

Mom : " -... "

I'm mimicking. Play along.

Mom : " Sweet heart , are you here? "

Dad: " Asleep already kiddo? "

I give a stupid , plain look on my light creamed face.

Don't look at me that way! What do you think? I'm awake! ( giggles ) old's trick in the book. Now don't get me wrong , I'm not saying that I'm living with one parent at all. My mom and I used to be found in the kitchen cooking recipes from blueberry/ banana pancakes , to curry chicken with plain , bright white , paper cutting rice on the side along with the almost diarrhea colored gravy poured about. Then there's my brother. Milan. A sixteen year old , six foot , male teenager. Now he was a ten times as better best friend than my Dad in which I still consider my pal. Milan and I used to run around the house , take turns pushing one another on our long exaggerating swing set in our front yard - although I tried to , he would give me a piggy back ride , take me everywhere - yes , he can drive ... and ended up screwing our planned m' and m' s style cookies recipe. Yeah , we burned them.

Need I say more? Cutting to the chase , that .. - those memories were six years ago. Now I'm thirteen. Hmm. It feels like life no longer is an adventure or has meaning again once half of your life is through. Birthdays are a one day , every year thing. It isn't like the president is coming to town or something. I would know , because my birthday recently passed. If your a girl who's birthday is on a particular day , and you got nothing ; plus recieving some pathetic lecture told to your parents like -

Mom : " Oh sweet heart , your father and I are sorry. "

Dad : " We did not have the money to buy what you wanted my dear. "

Then you know my mood as of right now. ( sarcastic ) But they got the cake though ! Wow that made me feel better. ( rolls my fierce , hot , and bright red eyes ) ( narrows my black eye brows in a mean way ) Ugh. Stop. Just stop. Since I'm the only female in the family besides mom , my mom wants me to start watching teenage programs instead of ..... - You know what? You don't need to know what I watch. I am sensitive about it. Then my brother went behind my back and burned all of my stuffed animals without my permission! The most saddest thing that got me on that day , was my mom. Screaming at me and rambling on about how I went behind her back of going into the attic and taking back my collection of stuff animals. Only my Dad was on my side then broke the news to me in niceist of ways. So much for being my pal.

I'm the youngest in my family as well as the most childish , imaginative , and weakest. Sometimes I want to stay six years old the fact of strongly excepting that I would see my mom , Dad , and Milan in front of me , and to my left. Almost what appears to be a force cubed field. Mmh. Unfortunately , I have grown out of the book of fairytales series being the book ... my Dad. I can already see my family splitting apart like the pieces to my cube that they have come to be. My mom and Daddy are suffering unhappy , marriage complications , and my big brother is extremely solitude along with independent.

Not the drama type , but doesn't have time to spend with the rest of the family. Mostly ... me. He has gotten so much cruel and stronger. You observe alot of things when you are the youngest. I am NOT stupid - and I believe that I'm speaking out for other younger siblings in a variety of families out of my neighborhood and world wide. Believe me , being the youngest isn't some thing you would be proud of. Your just an undeveloped , too young , human being that is the last one to be introduced in this ugly , sick , unfair world we live in. Abandoned.

Judged. The last one. I don't feel alright seeing the change in myself. Still , I haven't figured out who I am. As a human being. I-I thought I knew. I've losted my determination , instinct , and faith to believe in unknowns or stories for whatever

it is my family tried to do to me. I felt ... fixed. Reversed in rusty bars , and screwed back on into a figure. Ta-da .. indeed. I could be miserable. I could. Moreover , I'm a stuck up stubborn one. They said " I'll believe it when I see it " or " seeing is believing. " But .. I'm blind. Not physically. I knew I would need to believe for it is the first step that others haven't taken. Leading to curiosity and action. Without that , I'll be in the same spot unsatisfied with my big change. And most of all , to regret.