Matts P.O.V
I got up this morning and started getting ready. The same old routine. Shower, eat, school. But today was kind of different.
When I woke up my mind was completely somewhere else. Where you ask? I don't even know myself. Throughout the day I kept zoning off, and of course, the teachers called on me and I had no idea what we were doing, so I looked stupid.
I kept wanting to pull out my phone and check my dms to see if she dmed me but I knew I should just wait for lunch because it will be easier that way. When lunch rolled around I skipped eating because I wasn't hungry, my friends questioned me but I didn't give them a valid answer.
I ended up leaving school early because I just couldn't stay concentrated or even focus, my mom knew why and she was okay with it. The girl ended up getting her stomach pumped and has to remain in the hospital for a while to make sure her body responds okay. But the ironic thing is, she lives an hour away from me and she's at the hospital thats 45 minutes away. I want to go see her.
My mom recommended driving me herself and going in with me but I wanted to go by myself. Its something I need to talk to her about. She is a fan of mine, so this could really mean a lot to her. I'm hoping this will at least put a smile on her face. I'll do anything to do that at this moment.
The whole going to see her thing is a surprise, because its a better thing to do. I realized I zoned out again when my mom called my name.
"Matt, are you even listening to me?"
"No, i'm sorry I just cant think right now." Its all I really had to say. I just kept quiet.
You would feel the same way I do. But you don't, you don't understand. No one does besides me. She's my fan, shes apart of my family, and she almost left me.
The main thoughts that have been on my mind all day have just been questions. My mind will not shut up, it just keeps flooding with thoughts when i'm just trying to block them out. But my mind has a different plan.
What if I wouldn't of seen those tweets and dms? She wouldn't be here. I would of lost her. And it hurts me knowing how many people feel the same way as she did, and they can take their own lives. I tweet and try to help people feel better, but a simple tweet doesn't always help. If I could be there for every single one of my fans, I would be. But I cant. I'm 1 person, and thousands of them.
I hate that I know all of this. And it sucks just thinking about it. I just don't understand. I don't understand why she tried to take her life, but I managed to do something about it. And its now my goal to figure out why she tried to take her life. I have to get to know her, after all of this happening its what I need to do. Because if not, i'll be wondering myself.
Myles P.O.V
My arms hurt and my head hurts. All of the I.V's and medication is starting to get to me. I hate being here. I regret everything.
My mom is so torn apart. But then again what can I do? I did this in the first place. I didn't try to get help. I didn't tell her. Its my fault she hasn't been sleeping, its my fault she cries all the time now.
Everything is always my fault.
I glance up at the ceiling and just stare at the plain design. Swirls, like almost flowers. The sound of the doctors talking and people coughing and the sounds of machines fill my ears. Its the only sounds that have been filling my ears for 2 days now. I just want to leave.
I wonder whats going on at school. Are people wondering about me? They're probably dancing around and having a party over it. The amounts of rumors going around is probably insane. But at least I'm switching to online school. My mom agreed that it will be the best option. I still haven't heard from anyone in my family
My dad included. He's off his in own world, alcohol I mean. Its one of the reasons why my mom and him split up. She couldn't take the constant smell, and comments he made. He was always so.. not him. My dad from years ago is gone, and he's been replaced by some kind of monster.
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. It wasn't my mom or the doctors, they usually just walk in.
"Come in...?" I say confusingly. Is it my dad behind the door? Or some person who has the wrong room.
The door opens and I glance to see who is standing behind the door.
My eyes start to water immediately and my heart stops. Matt. Matt is right there.
I'm dreaming. I know i'm dreaming. Theres no way he came to the hospital to see me. I should be waking up any minute.
But I haven't. I'm still sitting in bed staring wide eyed at the door.
"Myles right?"
I nod.
"Well.. I uh-" He stopped mid sentence.
"I came here to see you. I mean to see how you're doing. You kind of left me on a cliffhanger." He awkwardly scratched his arm and stared at me.
"Oh yeah.. uhm sorry." Thats all that could come out of my mouth. Stupid stupid stupid.
"This isn't really how I pictured meeting you.. Me sitting in a hospital bed other wise." I laughed. Its all I could do. I don't know what to say.
"You're crying."
I put my hands up to my face, and sure enough I was crying.
"Its okay, I kind of expected you to." And he smiled. I smiled because of his smile. Its so much more.. Bright in person.
"Can I hug you?" It flew out of my mouth.
He nodded and walked over and leaned down and hugged me. I started crying even more. And I guess he could sense it because he sat down and pulled me closer and let me sit there and cry. He didn't even care, he just let me sit there and cry. I think he understood why I was reacting the way I was. He understood he saved my life 2 days ago and he just sat there and held me for those moments.
AUTHORS NOTE
Ew yeah you guys probably don't like reading these. But just know this was a crappy chapter and it will be better next chapter!! This was just a filler, I didn't want to immediately get into it so I just had to have a filler. But everything starts taking off next chapter. Stay tuned my lovelies. I love you guys (: ~Kristina
