Living Ghosts

3. Magnetic

The beauty of Harare CBD at night. Looking out of the 8th floor of the building, Tanaka got lost in the surviving street lights, the robots and the cars whizzing by. The streets almost seemed like they had an alter ego - putting on a shy, quiet dazzle against the moon and wind in comparison to the hustle and the mayhem that ruled the city in the day. It reminded her of her childhood, when trips to town were a big occasion and when she never would have believed she'd one day work in this very building she once so frequently walked by as a girl.   

Work and motherhood. That was Tanaka's life. If she wasn't slaving away at work, she was the most hands on mother you'd ever find. Tanaka was doing well for herself as a young accountant at Cont-Roll.She worked twice as hard as anybody her age and was well known around the company for being so efficient and reliable. Those who loved her and those who resented her did so for the same reason. She stood out and tackled her job as though her life depended on it. She was a force to be reckoned with and made sure she earned the space she occupied. This was especially because she always felt the need to prove she was there based on merit and not status. 

Tanaka was the daughter of two prominent government officials. Her family was well known and respected all around the country. When Tanaka started high school and her parents were both promoted to significantly higher ranks in their ministries, she watched her life change so fast it was almost as if she were in a movie. Her family remained very humble and down to earth and this was very important to them all. This was why Tanaka, who was a natural hard worker anyway, put more work and effort into all that she did, just to show the world she deserved all that she had.    

Piles of work mounted on her desk. Ever since Maureen went away on leave, the work load had doubled and Tanaka was drowning in numbers and calculations. Why would HR let me suffer this much- surely they could have found me an intern to help me carry the load. She was tired. But somehow Tanaka was able to balance her life well. Just a few more weeks and Maureen would be back. On the positive side, at least she was able to earn a little extra money for herself and Kim with the overtime and she also had a huge distraction from thinking about Trevor. It had been three weeks since she saw Trevor at the wedding. Although it took her a while to get that strange knot out of her chest, she finally went back to her equilibrium and her mind was finally back to normal. 

"Are you ok in here?" A workmate popped her head into the office, checking on Tanaka.

"I'm alright thanks, just about to wrap up for today. I'm exhausted" she yawned.

"Yea, you should get home soon, I'm sure Kim is watching the door, waiting for you to walk in at any moment." the lady said jokingly.

That was a ticket for Tanaka to start talking about all the funny little remarks and adventures from Kim that happened over the weekend. She loved talking about her daughter. She often had to tell herself to stop talking before she went on about the best toddler she ever laid eyes on for an hour. Tanaka's speech was cut short when her phone started to vibrate. It was Isaac calling. 

"Hey Zac, what's up?" 

"Hi Tana, are you coming home soon?" his voice sounded solemn, Tanaka immediately began to panic.

"Yea I am, why? Is Kim ok?"

"Yea Kim is fine, everyone is ok. It's just um - you have a visitor."

And with that she knew exactly who it was even before he said so.

''Trevor's here. I don't know how he knew to find you here but - he's here and insisted on waiting for you. I'm sorry, I really tried to make him go away but Mama invited him right in. I couldn't make him go away without making her and dad suspicious." he rambled. 

"Ok, ok, I'll be there in 20 minutes."

"Tanaka, what are you going to do? Are you going to tell them?"

"I don't know Isaac. I just... I don't know. I should go, I'll see you just now" and she hung up.

How could she have thought it was all over just like that. It was never that simple when Trevor was involved. 

                                                                                                  ***

 Tanaka rented a small, sweet flat in Avondale for herself and Kim. As soon as she could afford it, she moved out of her parent's house with her baby, dying for her independence. She still spent a lot of time at the family home. She lived so close to them that she almost always had Kim there during the day, after nursery school and picked her up on her way home from work. Aunty Sarudzai, who worked for Tanaka's parents would pick Kim up from nursery school as it was walking distance from the family home. Kim's nursery school was conveniently chosen for this reason. It made everyone's life much easier.

Tanaka didn't have to live on her own, on the contrary, her parents didn't want her to. Tanaka however, was a stubborn mule. Her job paid her well and she was able to look after both herself and her daughter. She was also involved in other business ventures that generated passive income for her as a shareholder. She was young but she was very organised and determined to make it on her own. She was lucky to have the support of her parents who gave her a loan to start out her projects with some friends that turned out to be a success. Even though she was tired most of the time, it was most liberating to know she was achieving her goals and taking ownership of her life. She learnt at a young age to grab opportunities and make the most of them. She was already setting a good example for her daughter.

On paper, Tanaka's life was close to perfect. She was very beautiful, successful for her 20 something year old self, thriving against the odds and fairly happy. Her love life however was non-existent. She was a single mother, married to her work. A few years earlier, when Tanaka fell pregnant, her life was so shaken. She wasn't ready and she wasn't even in a relationship. Ever since the day she found out she was going to have a baby, her life quickly became a game of strength and survival.

She met Kim's dad on a holiday in Namibia. Tanaka was staying with her cousin in Windhoek and one night they went out to hot A- list party where she saw him.  He told her his name was Marvin, which later turned out, was actually Trevor.  It really only took just one moment for the ever so careful and principled Tanaka to slip up just once and find herself on the wrong side of her morals. Trevor was as charming as they come. People often think of the devil as an ugly red little man with horns and a pitch fork, sniggering at you with malice, but no. The scariest devil is the one that comes to you with a smooth voice, flawless skin, perfect teeth, a sculpted body and the image of everything you didn't even know you needed until you saw. 

He was funny, he seemed kind. He was very clever, witty, the life of the party. He was so good at making a girl feel like she was the most important person in the room when she spoke, and he made every guy want to be his best friend and buy him another round. He was also rich. Insanely rich. When Trevor walked into a room, it smelt like money was breathing. Everyone who engaged with him or hung around him long enough was left trying to figure out how they could be a better person and reach their full potential too. It wasn't fair for only guys like Trevor to enjoy life this way. 

Tanaka and Trevor's chemistry was magnetic. From the moment they met, they clicked instantly, almost as if they had known each other forever.  Her beauty, conversation and innocence and his charisma and thrill for a chase brought them together that night. They talked for what seemed like forever and lost track of time. She could have actually married him that night if he'd asked. She was so drawn and so far gone. That night was such a new level of excitement for the girl. Something in the air made her feel it was definitely going to be a night she'd always remember. What she didn't know is that it would change her life and that years later he'd still make her heart pound, but not in the way she would have wanted. Who would have thought the tall, handsome guy from the VIP would be the guy she most wanted to RIP.