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"Sam!" You stepped towards the door and kept your eyes trained on the ceiling, watching as the eight-legged creature scurried from his spot in the corner and into the center of the room. It got closer with every second. It was following you. "SAM!" That got his attention. You heard him before you saw him, heavy footfalls echoing through the vast halls of the bunker. When he rounded the corner he'd looked worried. When he saw you watching the ceiling, eyes flicking nervously back and forth between him and it, he stopped and flashed you a knowing smile. "Is there a bug again?" he asked with a grin. You didn't bother to look at him as you answered, moving aside to let him pass and take care of your unwanted guest. "Not just a bug, a spider." He stopped in front of you. "And the difference is?" "Spiders are exponentially worse than all other bugs, everybody knows that!" "I don't know that." "Well, it's not my fault you're uneducated." Sam rolled his eyes but couldn't help the smile spreading across his face. "Couldn't you have just stood on a chair to kill it?" he asked, grabbing a tissue from your desk. You stared at him in horror, shaking your head back and forth. "No, I could not have!" you cried. "If I stood on a chair I wouldn't be totally balanced, and if I wasn't totally balanced I wouldn't be functioning at optimum efficiency – you know, because I would be focusing too much of my energy on not falling off the chair. And what if I missed it, Sam? What if I dropped it?! It would fall right on top of me! It could get in my hair! Or my mouth! So no, Sam, I could not have just stood on a chair." You flicked your eyes down to the ground, doing you best to avoid his gaze. "Plus, I think I'd still be too short. The ceilings in here are high..." Sam backed away with his hands raised in surrender, clearly doing his best to suppress a laugh. "My apologies," he said with a little bow. "I hadn't realized this was such a complicated matter." You knew he was mocking you, but you opted to ignore it. "Just kill the spider." And so Sam turned around to oblige your request, reaching the ceiling with ease and disposing of your problem. "Better?" he asked, settling his arms around your waist and pulling you against his chest. You stuck out your lips in a pout and nodded. He could tease you all he wanted so long as he attended to all your spider-killing needs. Then he kissed the top of your head and pulled you with him, out of the room and down the hall. "Come on, Shorty."
