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Dean watched as Mary interacted with him at a younger age; she was smiling at the two year old version of you. Reaching over she brushed off some crumbs that were on your lips before returning her attention to Dean. "I only want good things for you, Dean." She said to the four year old Dean, "I'll never let anything bad happen to you." "I hate you." Dean stated as tears began to grow in his eyes. Mary stood up and took you from your high chair before walking back towards Sam's crib. "I was a kid. You promised you'd keep me safe; and then you made a deal with Azazel. Yeah, it saved dad's life, but I'll tell you something else that happened." Dean said as his voice broke. Mary was playing with Sam's fingers as he laid in his crib while she gently swayed side to side with you in her arms; she was blatantly ignoring Dean. "Because on November 2, 1983, old Yellow Eyes came waltzing into Sammy's room because of your deal." Dean told his mom as Sam began to coo from his crib.
"You left us. Alone; because dad was just a shell. His perfect wife, gone. Our perfect mom, the perfect family, was gone; and I... I had to be... more than just a brother, I had to be a father, and I had to be a mother, to keep them safe, and that wasn't fair; and I couldn't do it." Dean's voice broke again. "And you wanna know what that was like? They killed the girl that he loved. He got possessed by Lucifer. They tortured him in hell, and he lost his soul. His soul." A tear nearly fell out of Dean's eyes but he held it back. "Y/N, she's never known what it's like to be in love with someone. She was possessed by Michael; followed Sam into the pit so he wouldn't be alone. She tried to close the gates of hell and wanted to die from the guilt she had from Sam returning without a soul when she had hers. My little sister wanted to die." Dean said as his voice cracked. "All because of you. All of it was because of you." Mary glanced down at you where you were sleeping in her arms. She shifted so that you were laying your head on her shoulder, your arm across her back. Planting a kiss to your head she glanced back at Sam who was happily cooing in the crib. "I hate you." Dean's voice filled with emotion. " I hate you... and I love you. 'Cause I can't– I can't help it. You're my mom; and I understand. Because I have made deals to save the ones I love, more than once. I forgive you. I forgive you, for all of it, everything." He stated, begging his mother to understand. "On the other side of this, we can start over, okay? You, me, Y/N, Sam, we can get it right this time. But I need you to fight, right now. I need you to fight. I need you to look at me. I need you to really look at me and see me. Mom, I need you to see me. Please."
