Joey
I woke up to the sound of music and some ghastly voice singing along. I was hit with confusion. My first thought was, where the hell am I? And then, oh, my god I’m in some random person’s car. Have I been kidnapped? What if I was raped and I didn’t know it? I pretty much believed this thought and was about to freak out when I looked over to see Clare driving whilst simultaneously moving her head and body violently as well as singing..
“I’ll tell you what I want what I really, really want. So tell me what you want what you really, really want–”
I thought I was dreaming but then quickly diminished that thought since Clary’s horrible singing was to real to be a fantasy.
“If you want to be my lover, you got to get with my friends. Make it last forever, friendship never ends,” she practically screeched.
Oh God, make it stop, I thought, HAVE MERCY.
“Please don’t tell me you convinced me into stealing a car and then knocked me out or something,” I finally said, discontinuing her attempt to sing which was probably what woke me up.
“Pshht, no. Why would you think that? Please, hoe.” she responded not taking her eyes off the road. By then the music had stopped and it was silent for a while ––thank the heavens for that. I raised an eyebrow but I knew she was joking since I felt like I was joking myself.
I still felt disoriented when I remembered my dream. How some cannibal attacked my school during English class and then me running off… It came in like wrecking ball. Everything that happened, it explained why I was in some stranger’s car with an underage driver. Either that or my dream was extremely coincidental and the fact that Clary was driving was because… yeah, no, the whole cannibal thing was definitely real.
Jesus Christ! I thought, it all actually happened didn’t it? Then I realized that I totally fell asleep after it.
“God damn it, Clary, I fell asleep!” I said in frustration.
“Oh, Joe. So young, so innocent.” Clary replied.
“And you never bothered to wake me up because?”
“Joey. Please. I’m driving. What kind of responsible driver would I be if I were using my hands to slap your face?”
At that I laughed and said, “Speaking of which, where the hell are we?”
“Oh, Joey, my sweet little baby kangaroo.”
“You don’t know where we are do you?”
“Bitch, please, of course I do,” she said looking at me for once but when she faced the road again she mouthed the word “not”. At that I rolled my eyes and started to think back on what happened. Then the guilt began to set in, Oh Jesus Christ! My parents! My family! Everyone! Wait a second, how did Clary know to come to the tree? Does that mean there was more than one cannibal? There was a lot of screaming…
“Did you see it?” I asked Clary.
“What?”
“That weird cannibal guy, he totally chewed off one of the teachers’ neck.”
“I did see a cannibal guy, but he was on the east oval and he didn’t chew off a teacher’s neck just like I don’t know the arm and stuff.”
“Wait, but that dude couldn’t have been in two places at once? Especially not on far sides of the school.”
“Oh my GOD,” Her eyes lit up as if she won the lottery, “a zombie fucking apocalypse”.
I rolled my eyes at her.
“Seriously, Clary? I mean zombies are only real in like fictional stuff. Like movies and books but as far as I’m concerned, we aren’t some fictional made up characters as well as those cannibals aren’t zombies.”
She looked at me as if I just stripped in front of her, then laughed and said, “Please, hoe,” as if that explained everything.
“No but seriously, Clary. It is ridiculous. I thought that it was just some messed up cannibal person but it’s quite obvious that there was more than one. And I doubt there is an army of cannibals, it doesn’t make any logical sense.”
“Yeah, I guess you could be right. I did hit some people on my way out and––”
“YOU WHAT?”
“I SAID I HIT ONE OF THOSE THINGS ON THE WAY OUT WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING. Anyway, I also might’ve hit an old person but you know, it was only a matter of time before the old bloke was going to die of old age, ay?” she said and I looked at her like she was freaking mental–– which she was, she still is actually. “Anyway what I’m trying to say, before I was so rudely interrupted, is that there weren’t only two. Hmm, maybe this is like some sort of disease?” as she said this she shuddered.
“Well then, I’m scared as hell because I just watched a freaking teacher have her neck eaten for breakfast. This incredibly serious and we need to get help or something. Also, don’t think I’m forgetting the fact that you may have killed an old man.”
“I hope it was the math teacher who died.”
“CLARY!”
“ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! I get it! This is serious, I know. I’m just freaking out, does it look like I want to be eaten alive by some messed up creature?”
I sighed, “Who does?”
We drove along the empty road for a while, both deep in our thoughts. Me thinking about my family and what I left behind, still feeling guilty. Evening started to darken and I could tell Clary was trying to stop herself from slamming her head into the steering wheel. My stomach was also rumbling like crazy. We needed food and rest. Well at least Clary needed the rest, I just needed the food. I could tell we were in some large town but there weren’t that many people probably because they were at home eating dinner or maybe because it was freezing like hell which made no sense since it was nearly summer but I guess some towns are just different.
I searched the car we were in for anything useful. I found some money inside a small compartment under the chair- only fifty dollars. Well that won’t last long. I know Clare would have some money though, I decided we’d have to figure something out later and use what we will for now. I also found bubble gum and offered some to Clare and for myself, it only made my hunger worse. I found a buck bones pocket knife. Jackpot. And in the backseat were towels which could be useful as blankets I guess. After a while I tell Clary to stop at any place with food and then we can camp out in the car and buy some new clothes in the morning and find help.
