I miss you, best friend.

I've been keeping this to myself.

Sometimes i wonder what went wrong between us.
We were fine. We weren't fighting but then out of nowhere you shut me down. I never knew the reasons till now. You got close to the person whom you know i hated the most. I don't get why?
Then one day u suddenly said u felt blessed for the second chance god gave us and u made it seems like nothing ever happened- like we were still super close. You acted like u never broke my heart and i acted like everything was just a nightmare- that i finally had woken up from. I swore to myself that i wont let u break my heart again. I swore not to break down if u left me again.
But u did. Oh god u did-for the hundredth time. U spread rumours and said bad things about me. You left me broken again.
You know that feeling u got when someone hurt u so much. That feeling like u could literally feel your heart breaking. That's how i felt when i read those mean things u wrote about me. I didn't tell anyone that all ur words bruised me instead i told each and every one of my friends that i was fine- that I didn't cared about what u said when deep down it slaughtered me-slowly and painfully.
What u said was really really really mean and how i wish u would tell me how could u do that? How could u say such things?
I used to be ur everything. We used to laugh to each other's jokes. Does everything we went through meant nothing to u? Was it all just a lie? Sometimes i get this panic attack and it hurts so much. U did this to me. U hurt me till I'm no more.