The Black Bus (Marilyn Manson FanFiction)

Dear Sister

Author/WB: so you guys. This is Walking Blasphemy. Idk how many of you have heard The Pretty Reckless's new album, Going to Hell, but it is literally the greatest thing ever. So I'm going to use a few of the songs throughout the story, not in an obsessive manner, but because they just fit. You'll see. 

~~

 Scotland*

Marilyn gets it.

"And they always expect you to be something that you're just, not, right?" He said, rubbing my back gently. I pushed him away.

"Right. She's so.. obsessed with the posibility that I'm someone else deep down.. when really, I am who I appear to be: nothing. Something that's so accurately 'nothing' that I'm infamously nothing. I am the same person, even when you break my atoms."

"I understand completely. But, Scotland, she's your sister. You can't just.. not talk to her."

"I know.. and I don't want to not talk to her, I want her to talk to me. I want her to know it's okay. But.. we're just so different."

"How so?"

"She's just.. better than I am. I don't want her to make my mistakes. I want her to be the good half of us. I mean.. she just gave up her virginity the same way I did: to someone we barely knew. Now.. imagine if she's pregnant? And she decides to abort it, because 'oh Scotland did it, so it's okay.'?"

Marilyn looked down, seemingly lost in thought. "That won't happen, Scotland. But if you're so convinced that I'm wrong, as you usually are, then I suggest you talk to her."

I nodded as he got up to leave. I never followed him. Instead, I picked up the shopping bag that Aspen had thrown our things in all those nights ago. I reached in and picked up a small notebook, it's spine falling apart at the seams. The paper inside seeming gently dilapidated on the edges. I opened it and smiled as years' worth of abuse and poetry greeted my vision.

That's when it came to me.

~~

Aspen*

Four days.

She had ignored me for four days.

She never left Marilyn's bedroom.

She never went to the shows.

She just stayed there: all day, all night. Marilyn brought her food and stuff, and I assumed she bathed when everyone else was at the show.

 But tonight, I decided to stick around. I wandered off to the bus after hugging and kissing Pogo before the show.

Upon entrance, I heard nothing. The bus was as dark as we'd left it, but I flipped the switch and walked towards the bunks. 

That's when I heard it. Scotland was singing. 

She used to sing a lot. She'd even sing me to sleep sometimes. But.. this was a different song. 

(Author: OKOK, THIS IS WHERE I USED A SONG FROM THE PRETTY RECKLESS. I REPEAT, I DO NOT OWN THESE LYRICS.) 

"Dear sister, can you help me lie? 

I've told the truth so many years..

But no one seems to want to hear that 

I'm not someone else inside..

I've been along this lonely road, 

looks like I'm not coming home, 

but I don't mind..

Please don't cry.." 

But it was too late. Quickly wiping my watery eyes, I opened the door to Marilyn's bedroom slowly and revealed Scotland, who seemed to be waiting for me, standing just beyond the doorway.

"Hey," she breathed. I grinned up at her and flung my arms around her waist. 

"Christ, child, get off." She scoffed, tugging the back of my shirt jokingly until I removed myself from her. "Scotland! I thought you hated me! I felt so bad, I just--" 

"Girlchild, you had no reason to feel bad. I was being a bitch and you were being curious. I still don't like you, but at least I'm not angry anymore." 

I smiled, and she returned it weakly. 

~~

Scotland* 

Aspen and I sat around after that, discussing our foster life and the child I'd just aborted. 

"How'd it feel?" She asked, curiously. I rolled my eyes.

"I hope you never have to find out." 

"And Marilyn was in the room with you the last time?" 

"Don't fucking remind me, he was probably staring the whole time." 

"That's gross." 

"You're gross." 

The guys came in shortly after, not one of them questioning the fact that Aspen and I were talking again. Marilyn smiled at me weakly, a favor I did not return, and Pogo kept shooting these worried looks in my direction. I would smile at him and wave.

~

"So, I take it it went well, then?" Marilyn asked once everyone else had gone to bed. I had my back turned to him as I pulled off my shirt to change, shivering as I felt his hand gently brush against the bare skin of my back. I looked down and sighed at the floor. 

"Yeah, it did. Don't touch me," I said, weakly. Two weeks ago, I easily could have spun around and slapped the shit out of him for doing that, but hour after hour.. day after day.. My defenses were growing weak towards Marilyn. He was breaking down my walls like a poison, like acid melting through the steel walls of a prison cell. Soon, he'd find the prisoner inside.

"I'll do what I want, darling," he hissed in my ear. I pushed him away, pulling on a shirt from his closet. It had become a habit, despite the numerous shopping trips Aspen and Twiggy ventured out on.

I climbed into his bed and buried my head into the pillows. "Marilyn, please, just go to sleep.. I don't want to do this anymore," I whined.

"Do what?" He asked, his tone barely above gentle.

"You know what," I said, hoping to make eye contact even through the dark.

He groaned, the bed shaking slightly as he collapsed onto his side beside me, muttering to himself as I fell asleep to a slightly productive day.