What Have I Done to Us? (Phanfiction)

Chapter Nine - "Every Last Moment Needs To Be Worth It"

"Phil's POV"

Surprisingly, the roads aren't very busy, I think to myself as I drive closer and closer to my destination. I finally arrive at Dan's apartment and pull up to the curb two buildings down.

"Alright then", I whisper as I unbuckle my seatbelt, open the door and slide out of the car awkwardly. I do hope this goes well and Dan takes the whole me marrying Milly thing okay. I open up the back passenger door on the drivers side and pull out all my gear. "Please don't go bad, please don't go bad.." I keep repeating in my head. The feeling of nerves rushes over my body. Why am I nervous? It's not like I've never talked to Dan before. I take a deep breath, let it out and began walking up the street to Dan's apartment.

I reach the door and knock three times. The nerves are really starting to creep through my body now.

I am greeted by a casually dressed Dan, smiling awkwardly at me. He looks like he's nervous as well.

"Uh, hey Dan" I say, the nerves showing in my tone.

"Hey there Phil, won't you come inside?" He gestures as he pulls the door open more and stands to the side to let me through.

I smile at Dan as I step through the door and up the stairs. I make my way to my old bedroom filled with all of the memories of our forgotten friendship, with Dan following me all the way. I place my bag on the bed and just stare at myself in the mirror.

"You know I've missed this place, I've missed you Dan... But I'm back.." I say under my breath, hoping Dan doesn't hear me. I turn around to face Dan and give him a faint smile, which he returns looking slightly confused and I gesture him to leave my room as I follow close behind.

We both walk to the lounge room, and I sit down in my old spot near the phone and laptop chargers. Dan comes and sits down next to me.

He turns to face me and says, "So, what would you like to do Phil?" Smiling awkwardly at the end. Well my emotions are all over the place so I just go with the gut feeling I have, and proceeding in telling him about my proposal.

"Well first of all Dan, there is something I would like to make clear-no something I would like to get off of my chest, something, I would think is important to me anyway.." I answer, rambling on. I really hope Dan doesn't think up the worst things after I confess this.

"Okay Phil, whatever this may be, I'm sure I will still respect you and support you in every way possible, even if I don't think it's right" He replies, sounding slightly positive about the situation.

"Well thank you Dan, I'm happy that you do, now how do I start?" I pause, pull a concentrating face that Dan seems to find amusing as I catch him laughing and I can't help but giggle too, and then I begin again. "I have realised many different things over the past week that my brain is still trying to process, and even still unsure about. But one thing I am sure about, the one thing I did realise today was that... Um.." I'm stumbling for words and my face shows just how nervous I am. I stare down at the ground. I hope this doesn't end bad, I just don't ever want to lose Dan again, but I am certain I'm making the right decision with Milly, I just love her too much. I finally build up my courage to come out with my confession and continue.

"I have decided that, although you, along with other people, may not accept this at first, and it may be hard to get used to if we are going to fix our friendship, and make it similar to the way it was all those years ago; I have decided that I'm going to marry Milly" I finished, sighing loudly at the end in relief. I finally got that off of my chest. I look up at Dan's face to see that he doesn't look like he agrees at all. Oops.

"Dan's POV"

I just stare into Phil's bright blue eyes, aimlessly waiting for him to tell me that he's lying but he's not making a sound. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes and I just run out of the room. I don't know what to think anymore, my emotions are just all over the place. I thought we maybe had something going on. Obviously not. I make it to my bedroom and slam the door behind me. I stand behind my door, leaning on it slightly, before sliding down it and just bursting into tears. Why did I even bother thinking that maybe we could give "us" a chance? Why did I believe that Phil did have feelings for me? I've been living my life on a bunch of lies. Daisy's not really dead is she? Phil's lying to me about Milly, right? If I go to sleep and wake in the morning, I can go back to every morning smelling of Phil's delicious breakfasts right? No, I don't know what to believe anymore.