What Have I Done to Us? (Phanfiction)

Chapter Seventeen - "Maybe I Do Dan"

"Dan's POV"

"That was really fun today Dan" Chloe says as we casually stroll out of the park, the sunset gleaming in our eyes.

"Yeah it was, remind me to hangout with you more often" I say as we both laugh.

As we are gaining on the end of the path, I decide to pull my phone out to check the time. When the screen turns on, my eyes are more interested in a message from Phil then actually checking the time. His message says,

*haha, yeah, well we better save the talking for tomorrow then :)*

I find myself smiling and I see Chloe pulling love expressions at me out of the corner of my eye. Oops, I read the message a little late, he sent it this morning. Oh well, I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

"Can I come to your wedding?" I think I hear Chloe say but I'm unsure because the question shocks me.

"Can you WHAT?" I ask as we stop dead in our tracks. I shake my head back and forth in disbelief. Chloe looks up at me smiling and repeats herself.

"Can I come to your wedding? You guys are going to get married one day and so I was just asking" she says, her smile still beaming at me.

"Oh, um, uh- who says that? I told you the story of us, he has Milly remember? He's going to marry her one day but you're welcome to come with me to the wedding" I smile, not knowing what else to say really.

"Oh, I don't know, I just have a feeling that one day, you will eventually marry... You'll see" she says smiling at me as she continues to walk. I shake my head at the whole ordeal and follow after her.

We finally make it back to Mum's house where we are greeted by the smell of chocolate chip cookies when we enter the door. These used to be my favourite when I was younger, and I always got excited when Mum called out to me and Adrian when they were ready. Chloe follows me into the kitchen where we find Adrian and Cassie already into the sweet smelling treats.

"Just in time you two, Mum just got them out of the oven" Adrian says as he makes room for me and Chloe to stand around the counter. We all stand, eating the cookies and making small talk for some time before Chloe decides it's time for her departure.

"You make sure you look after yourself okay?" I ask her as we embrace.

"You make sure you look after yourself! And marry Phil" she adds the last bit on the end quickly and it results in me playfully hitting her in the arm. We both smile and hug it out, before I plant a friendly kiss on her lips.

"Make sure you call me okay Dan, you've got to keep me updated" she says, winking at me.

"I promise I will Chloe, you have fun now" I say as we give each other one last wave, and I close the door behind me. Now it's time to go and pack for the long journey home tomorrow. At least I finally get to see Phil again. I know I couldn't last that long again without having him in my life. Maybe he'll finally realise that too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I finally finish packing and having a quick shower, I am pretty much ready for tomorrow's trip. I say goodnight to Mum, and to Adrian and Cassie, before making my way back to my grand room and cosy bed that I will truly miss when I'm gone. It's seriously the softest bed. I climb in and make myself comfortable and eventually, I fall into my slumber.

I wake in the early morning to the blast of my alarm and it startles me. I don't know why, I just don't think I was expecting it. I reach to turn it off before I remove myself from my blankety abode of warmth and comfort. Just two hours and I'm on the train back home. I do admit I will miss this place a lot though. It's good to have someone else do your washing for you. I laugh to myself whilst thinking these sorts of things.

I want to go for a stylish look but I can't be bothered to so I settle with wearing black sweatpants, a random green hoodie that apparently I own, and a black beanie. I can't be bothered to do my hair properly either. I pack the last couple of items and clothes into my suitcase and bag before proceeding to wheel my luggage behind me. I pull the suitcase down the stairs with little effort and sit it by the front door. I am pretty sure I'm all packed up now.

I notice Mum and Adrian coming down the stairs, probably to say their goodbyes.

Mum pulls me into a really tight hug and reminds me of all of the general rules of life whilst kissing me on the cheeks a number of times. I'm not going to miss this much affection I think.

Adrian gives me a quick squeeze before patting me on my back and returning back to where his was standing.

"It was fun hanging out with you and getting to see you again Dan, you really need to visit more often bro." Adrian says. I nod and smile at him, patting him on the shoulder.

"Be safe" Mum says and she kisses my forehead.

I say one last good bye to them both before I walk out the door and Mum closes it behind me whilst blowing a kiss. A taxi is waiting out the front to take me to the train station. I open the boot and shove my luggage it the back and make my way to the front passenger door.

"Hello again Dan" Chloe's dad says to me as I make myself comfortable.

"Hello again" I chirp happily, "just to the train station please" I add.

"Not a problem" he says as we pull out of the drive way and I give my family one last wave.

Once we reach the station, I thank the man and pay my fare, before collecting my luggage. I awkwardly walk up to the platform to wait for the train to arrive. I start to feel anxious, like everyone is staring at me and judging what I look like even though I know they're not. I guess that's just my brains way of dodging the fact that I'm nervous. It's replacing it with other emotions instead.

I just want this train to hurry up so I can go home.

"Phil's POV"

Packing for Florida is too hard. I'm not even sure if I want to go anymore. My brain says yes, but whenever I think of Dan, my heart aches as if it's yearning for his soft touch on my pale skin, his smooth wet lips on mine own. I haven't felt this way about him before, nor did I ever think I would. Ever since the day we saw each other again, and he came onto me in my room, my feelings for him have been mixed; tainted. I just don't know anymore.

Over the last couple of days, I have been really thinking about a lot of things. Commitment. Companionship. Memories. Mistakes. Adventures. Dreams. Inspirations. I've been really thinking. Love. Relationships. Sexuality. Realisation. Giving up.

Maybe I'm not really ready for any sort of commitment. Maybe I don't think I'm capable of companionship. Maybe I just want to relive all the old memories; repress all of the stupid mistakes. Go on more exciting adventures with exciting people. Maybe I want to dream more, be inspired more. Maybe I'm not ready for love. Maybe I'm not ready for this kind of relationship. Maybe I'm unsure of my sexuality. Maybe I do love that lanky brown haired boy. But maybe I should just give up.

I crawl under the covers of my bed, and curl myself up into a ball. I feel a tear slip from my eye, followed by another one. Pain. Anxiety. Worry. Infliction. Anger. Sadness. Dan.

These are the words I'm left with as I feel myself becoming unconscious with the world I know.

Author's Note

Sorry for the chapter being so short but I hope you enjoyed it anyway, and are enjoying the whole story as I am working very hard on it! Thank you all for reading and I'll promise to upload another chapter sometime this week okay :)