Girl Friend // Park Jimin

2 - I'm Fine

Jimin's face was aglow with the affects of alcohol. "Bomi, aren't you happy? We're 21. We're finally 21. We can go to bars, party all night, do whatever we want!"

He raises his half-empty beer bottle above his head and laughs like he didn't have a care in the world.

I smile sadly. I knew it was anything but.

"To being 21!"

"To being 21," I echo, clinking bottles.

Despite his cheery persona, that's all it was: a persona. Just like before, Jimin was tearing himself up, trying to figure out what he had done wrong.

"Wow," he turns to me. "Bomi, can you believe it? We're seniors. We've been in college for three years. I never imagined it would be this much fun. Hanging out with my best friend in my dorm. Drinking until we forget our names. The only thing I regret is going to class with the hangover I'll have tomorrow."

Had it been anyone else, Jimin would have completely fooled them. But not me. I saw past his mask.

I touch Jimin's arm, bringing the bottle down from his lips. "You don't have to hold it all in."

He shrugs my hand off. "What are you talking about? I'm fine." He chokes up. A tear escapes his eyelashes. "I'm perfectly fine."

It was like the floodgate had opened. Another tear soon followed and then another until sobs wracked his body. I wrap my arms around his shaking body and lean his head against my shoulder. Once again, I was rubbing his back, comforting him.

In my arm, Jimin looks so small. Before me wasn't handsome, cool, desirable Jimin. He was just a boy with a broken heart.

"W-w-why would she do that to me?" Jimin asks between hiccups. "I don't understand. What did I do wrong?"

"Hey, get over her. You're too good for her anyway. There are plenty of other girls way better than her out there."

"Like who?"

Like me. Jimin takes my silence as an answer.

"See. There's no one. Sunji's beautiful, kind, funny...How can I find someone better than that?" A new wave of tears leaks out.

My chest feels like it was being squeezed together with a belt, but I pat his head regardless. Jimin is what's important right now. Not my feelings.

I don't know how long we spent in that position. Me holding Jimin. Him crying into my shoulder.

"Was I a bad boyfriend to her?" After a while, Jimin pulls back, leaving a large wet area on my shoulder. His tear-stained face stares up at me. "Am I a bad boyfriend?"

For some reason, my heart races. "I-I wouldn't know."

Jimin was always sweet and kind to his girlfriends. Constantly showering them with gifts and attention. I couldn't fathom why any of them would want to cheat on someone like him. If I dated him, I would never let him go.

Without warning, Jimin throws his weight against me. We topple onto the floor. My head hits a stray textbook. I see stars for a moment. Jimin takes this opportunity to come out on top, straddling my waist. His hands pin my shoulders to the ground.

"You wanna find out?" slurs Jimin.

I can smell the alcohol on his breath. It was all around him actually. It fills the room. Blood courses faster through my body. Time seems to slow down. All my muscles tense up in anticipation. Jimin leans down and presses his lips against mine. I close my eyes.

I'm ashamed to say I like it. I knew Jimin only did it for the same reason he drank. To distract himself from his hurt. And for a while, I let him.

He stops exploring my mouth and starts planting a trail of kisses down my neck. My senses are on fire. He stops just above my collarbone and nibbles my skin. I inhale a breath sharply. My nails grip Jimin's broad sturdy back like it's the only thing keeping me from falling. It feels electric.

The thought of having to hide the marks Jimin was no doubt leaving tomorrow crosses my mind. At least the weather allowed me to wear a scarf.

His hand reaches under my shirt. I moan. My back arches toward at his touch. This is what I fantasized of happening since I fell in love with Jimin. But then, an image of Sunji kissing that stranger flashes through my mind. A sudden feeling of wrongness clouds my heart.

I stop Jimin's hand from going any further.

"Stop," I mumble into his hair.

"Why, babe?"

This strikes me like bullet to the heart. In his eyes, I wasn't Bomi. I was Sunji.

I slap Jimin hard across the face. How was I any better than Sunji if I let this continue?

Jimin freezes, shocked. A bright red mark on his left cheek glares back at me. A moment of guilt passes through me, but I push it aside. It had to be done.

"What—"

I get up. There was no way this night could continue. I quickly brush a tear away. The only good thing about the situation was that Jimin was definitely not going to remember anything from tonight's accident.

I snatch my bag from the coat rack and step out.