Girl Friend // Park Jimin

12 - Regrets

We freeze and stare at each other, like deer caught in the headlights. My lungs seem to stop working. One of Jimin's hands is tangled in his soft blond hair. The other is braced against the door frame. Neither one of us moves. The only thing I can hear is my heart pounding in my chest. Jimin's shirt is missing. His dress pants are crinkled and missing a belt. I force my eyes off of his defined sweaty abs. I look at his hands instead. The ones I used to make fun of all the time. His sweater paws. Now, they're balled up in fists.

A rustle of bedsheets comes from beyond the darkness of the room. "Babe, everything okay?"

I snap back into reality, blinking my thoughts away. Blindly, I bow in apology. "S-sorry. I'm sorry. I-I didn't know." I point to the doorway in desperation.

"I-I'll just go now. Sorry," I stammer. My voice tapers out. I hate it. It sounds so weak.

Jimin doesn't even move when I shove my way past him. A yelp of surprise comes from my right, but I can't even bare to spare a glance at mysterious girl who came in with Jimin. My feet take me out of the bedroom and into the lit hallway outside.

Jimin's footsteps rush after me. I duck my head down and pick up the pace. I don't know where I'm going. Away from that room is enough. Behind me, Jimin calls my name. Each time, a piece of my heart breaks off. That girl. It will never be me. Tears prickle my eyes. I can hear Jimin getting closer. There was no way of escaping him. Instead, I stop in my tracks. Before Jimin catches me, I quickly tilt my head back and blink the tears away. A deep breath, in and out, takes my heart rate down from 1000 beats per minute to a more manageable 500 beats per minute. It hurts. It hurts so much. But I paint a smile on my face. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Jimin spins me around. I see the hurt and confusion in me reflected in his eyes.

"Bomi, it's not what it looks like." His hands are spread apart, palms up.

I shake my head, the words tumbling out of my mouth. "Why are you explaining? I'm not upset." The lies catch in my throat, but I cough them out anyway.

Jimin bats his long butterfly eyelashes. He takes a step back. A look of relief crosses his face. My heart twinges. "Oh...I thought you were."

Nothing else falls out of our mouths. Anything else would have been small talk. His eyes flicker back down the hallway we came from. Back to her. Jimin points behind him. "Thanks for understanding...I'll see you at the party later."

He turns around, his broad shoulders filling my vision. A panic settles inside me. What if Jimin and I drift apart? I reach my hand out and grab the end of his shirt. "Wait...," I mutter.

Slowly, Jimin turns back around. His messy blond hair falls in front of his face, covering one eye. Instinctually, I tuck the fallen strand behind his ear. I blush when I realize what I'd done. Jimin raises an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Um..." I racked my brain for an excuse. Anything to make him stay. "I was just upset how, well, you know." I gesture helplessly with my arms. Flailing more like.

"I don't know?" Jimin asks, confused.

"I feel like you aren't spending much time with me anymore."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"It seems like you're spending more time with these random girls that you're constantly being all flirty-flirty with than with me," I confess. A hint of jealousy crawls into my voice.

A change comes over Jimin's face. "Well, maybe if you weren't avoiding me, I would spend more time with you." I hear the bitterness in his voice.

"I wasn't avoiding you," I lie through my teeth.

"Oh really? We haven't talked in a whole week. Seven days! And when we did run into each other, you pretended not to see me and walk away."

"I-I had stuff to do. I really couldn't talk." I can't look him in the eye.

"But no texts? No nothing to tell me you were busy?"

"Oh and now you're an expert on keeping in touch and friendship now? Did you ever try contacting me?"

"What? No! That's not what I'm saying at all."

"Well, it certainly seems that way. Oh, Dr. Park. I'm dying to know. What's the secret to getting all the girls?" I mock. "Did you give that girl sex eyes? Or did you coax her into a friendship and then drag her into bed? I bet a beer probably helped loosen her right up." I was practically spitting my words out.

Jimin stared at me in shock. "That has nothing to do with us. With this!"

"Oh I'm sure. Nothing to do with this," I say, sarcasm dripping from my words.

Jimin looks pissed. A dark hooded shadow covers his normally bright eyes. "I'm glad I didn't spend any more time with you. I wouldn't want to waste any more time with someone so petty."

He turned on his heel, leaving me alone with my regrets.

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Wow, it's been a while. I feel like I say that every time. I've been focusing a lot on Blaming Black Cat, so I didn't have as much time to write this story as I would have liked. But I have so much more planned for this story! I'm so excited! Happy reading! 

- Love, Laurie <3