Salem: Satan's Favorite Daughter [on hold]

Salem: Satan's Favorite Daughter

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  Prologue
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Aye yo peeps. Tis I, Salem, Satan's favorite daughter. Nah, just kidding. My sister, Lilith, is actually dad's favorite. But I'm not lying when I say 'I'm Satan's daughter'.

So, this is how this works; Satan gets horny (no pun intended), finds a woman to fuck, releases his unholy semen to the egg cell and nine months later, I pop out of a woman's vagina, THEN BOOM. SALEM IS NOW BORN.

HAH.

No.

I wasn't born that way. Actually, I was a regular human. In like the late 1600's. I was falsely accused of witchcraft and was hanged in front of the village people. 'How did I go to hell?' CUZ I'M A REAL GANGSTA. But really, I kidnapped and murdered children and ate them. Fun times.

So yeah. My soul was tortured and I met Satan sitting on a throne made up of bones. My ranking leveled up and they saw potential in me. (I used 'they' because Satan didn't like gendered pronouns). I was then appointed as a head-demon. He sent me to Earth to look for people who committed the seven deadly sins.

Now, I'm here sitting on my bed, telling you about the things I do. Well today, I found people who did bad shit who were about to die. Imma tell you about them;

James Maxwell, 35, serial killer, murdered 43 people in his lifetime, cause of death: killed by another serial killer.

Oh the irony. Moving on.

Pedro Alvo, 28, murderer & rapist, raped and killed a mother and her daughter, cause of death: got shot by police while trying to escape.

Ew. Pedophiles. I hate those kind of people very much. Next.

Sara Porter, 46, drug dealer & murderer, kills people who don't pay for drugs (obviously), cause of death: got hit by a car.

Look, this lady was drunk and high while walking down the street. So that's technically her fault.

I'm too lazy to list more, so have these bastards' informations. Now, welcome to the life of Salem: Satan's favorite daughter.