If you can know me

Mom

**** hey guys , before you go forth in this story ,I need to tell you this story is going to have a lot of holes .After all its going to be unravelled later on ..in order to keep the suspense up...the loop holes and open ends are going to fill up as the story progresses...
Everyone of you must be thinking, what happened to Susant that night?  For now be patient ...you are soon going to get the answer...just wait and watch for now...;) :)     
  PS: the last chapter was just a peek into Susant's life   nine years before...we are back to present ..I.e., continuing from first chapter..

Susant's POV :

*** nine years later***

" You are a disappointment , Mr.  Susant Behera  ;a  huge disappointment."

"No , please-"

"Wait ! How come I forgot? You aren't a disappointment anymore, you have now upgraded to being a disgusting piece of shit, a shame upon your family's honour."

"Mom- "

Mom was fuming now. Spit flew out of her mouth as she started shouting, " Fate is really UNFAIR to have given me such a sinner son like you!!Don't cringe, no mister , because that's what you are - a CRIMINAL,a SINNER , a -"

"Mother! Please stop. Please, I don't want to hear anymore-"

" I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!!! I WISH YOU HAD DIED THAT DAY!!!

AND STOP CALLING ME YOUR MOTHER, YOU HEATHEN !! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ANYONE'S SON!!" ,her voice cracked .

Tears fell in unrestrained cascades down her eyes as she looked at me with absolute hate ; my own birth mother hating the sight of me. I could almost hear my heart- breaking, cracks and fissures snaking out, crumbling years of love to dust...

" I'm going away. Its better I am far far away from you. Good bye 'son' .Hope you be damned to hell for eternity."

" NO!! Mom! MOM!! Don't go please. It was a mistake! A mistake I repent for everyday! Please mom where are you? Mom? Mom!!"

I ran after her.
Just as I reached near enough to touch her , she suddenly vanished in a shrill burst of sound. Just like that.
She left me alone. She's gone! My brain couldn't process clearly .She's really gone! I just wonder why that annoying is still here...Maybe mom hasn't gone truly? Maybe? But no...

"Trrrrng...trnnnng ....trrrnnng ".

What the hell! I burrowed deeper into my pillow throwing another one over my head trying to shut out the annoying noise.
Wait, pillow? Bed? Wasn't I searching for mom?
I was instantly alert. Oh well ! The 'beautiful' sound was my bedside alarm .

Ugh! I just don't understand why we use alarms if we hate them so much. Why set the alarm,if you sleep through it anyway?I wondered for the millionth time in my life .  The clock said it was 7:00am. How did I wake up at the right time? Dot 7!!! It was then that I faced the bigger issue--- as the memories of my dream came flooding back , threatening to engulf me , break me down.

Mom. She's gone . Out of my life . Far away ,where no one can reach her.

Dead, she's dead.

Because of me.