Journal / Vent

Melancholy? Most likely.

Dedicated to my ex-boyfriend. This is for you, and everything you made me feel.

My stomach turns over in despair, I look around the fading room. Desperately I try to reach for something to hold on to, but it's all empty. The room is fading into black, my breathing quickens, and my throat is tightening up. Is the room disappearing or am I having a panic attack? My heart is racing, and all sound is blocked out from my ears. I fall to the ground because my body is too heavy for my weak legs to carry. I start gasping for air. You're in the room, and I look into your eyes. You're staring at me with a neutral face, but you turn your back to me and let the blackness surround you until you have gone alone with the room. I'm all alone now, and I start gagging, trying to throw up my lungs for failing me like this. I see a liquid fall from my face and I can't tell if its tears, saliva, or sweat. My gasping for air turns to screaming as my lungs feel like they are on fire. My arms give out and I fall over to my side. I look down at my fingers and I see that they are fading into the darkness, my shaking makes it worse. At this point I feel like I'm dying. I'm dying because of myself and I don't know what to do. I look down and see that my legs...my legs are gone! My stomach is now being covered in the black abyss. I let out a final, defeated cry, then there's nothing. I am nothing except the black abyss.