NATALIE

Week 10

"I'm sorry, Natalie."

I whirl around. It's the first time that I've heard my mom say my name in a days.

"Remind me, what're you sorry for?"

I know that I shouldn't snap at her. I know that I should cut her some slack and listen to what she has to say, but I can't stop the rude words from falling out of my mouth.

She called me Nathan. I don't think she understands how much that hurt. I guess that in my twisted human mind, I'd figured that ignoring her would make her feel the same pain. So, I haven't talked to her unless I absolutely had to. I shut her out of my world because I didn't like what she had done to it. Maybe that was stupid, but nobody said that I was smart.

I don't know what I'm looking for, but her apology's right there. Maybe an explanation? I think she wants forgiveness, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to forgive her for. She's just going to hurt me again.

"Look, I'm trying to get used to this," she says. "I want to understand what you're going through, so I can help you. This... transgender... thing. You know, growing up, I was always told to never accept it, and to cut those people out of my life. People who aren't straight, or... cisgender."

Cisgender is a relatively new word to me, so I'm surprised that she knows it.

I look up at her, and she shrugs. "Yeah, I've been doing my research. So I still don't know much about this, but I know that I should try to make this easier for you. I know that I can make more of an effort to call you by the right name. Is... that okay?"

Wow. This isn't where I thought this conversation would go. Love means second chances.

I bite my lip. "Yeah."

She takes a step towards me, and I let her hug me. Is this a mistake?

"I can't promise to never mess up, but give me some time. I want what's best for you, but we all need to figure out what that is."

"Okay." Let her in again.

My mom steps back and smiles. "I'm so glad that you're my daughter."

"Did you- mom. You just... you called me-"

She nods. "I read that you should respect a person's pronouns, even when they decide to change them. So... daughter?"

I'm making the right decision.

I feel myself tearing up. "Sounds great, mom."

I think we both found what we were looking for.

***

Cody drives me and Tommy to school. We all walk inside together. Not as three athletes, but as three friends.

***

I answer "here" to "Natalie Mills" during attendance calls. I'm the only person who thinks twice about it.

***

I run into Delaney while I'm on my way to third period. She gives me this dirty look, and all I want to do is scream "Talk" by Daya in her face. I manage to bite my tongue long enough for Tommy to grab my hand and drag me away.

***

"Natalie. Late again, I see." Mr. York watches impatiently as I make my way over to my desk.

Tommy furrows his brows. "Wait, hold on. We literally walked here together. How did it take you a minute longer?"

I sit down. "It's a talent."

"Your use of the word 'talent' is questionable," Mr. York grumbles.