Living My Dream (Book 2)

Not Again

Chesters pov
Shortly after Samantha woke up she decided she was going to go out with the girls for a while. I wasn't going to complain because it gave me a chance to talk to mike. Mike was the type of person who would give me an Unbiased opinion whether he liked a person or not, everyone else I knew would sugar coat shit to one persons favor. I walked down to mikes room and knocked on the door, he opened it up quickly with a smile on his face. Once he saw my facial expression his smile fell.
"Whats up Chaz?" He questioned knowing something was up.
"Man do you have a few minutes to talk?" I asked him. "I have some issues going on and I need some advice before I snap!" I explained.
"Sure man!" He replied. "Let me grab my shoes and we'll go get some coffee!" He added.
Once we got to the coffe shop down the street from the hotel, we ordered a cup and sat down to talk.
"So whats going on man?" He asked me.
"Well you remeber the girl you saw me with in Cali after the show?" I asked.
"Yeah I remember, the photographer that you keep sneaking off with!" He replied.
"I'm not sneaking but yes her." I stated.
"Please tell me you arn't cheating on Samantha?" He half stated half asked.
"No dude I'm not cheating, I mean I fucked up and kissed her once in Cali but it hasn't happened since then." I pointed out. "The issue is she was my first love, the girl I fell in love with in high school!"
"Oh!" He replied.
"We have stayed just friends because she doesn't want to ruin my marriage. I mean I don't want to ruin my marriage either, I would never intentionally hurt Sam!" I stated. "But I still love her man, I can't deny it. I want to be with her, but I can't because I dont want to hurt either of them." I continued. "We were supposed to go out last night before Sam came into town this morning, but sam ended up comming here early and I had to cancel our plans. I know I hurt her when I canceled on her and I didn't mean to, I just don't know what to do. Part of me almost decided to end things with Samantha today and be true to my own heart even though i knew it would hurt her, but then i went to check on Roxie this morning and Jacoby answered the door. He was in her room dude, they fucked and I'm crushed. I feel like she ripped my heart out and stomped on it.
"Damn man thats dirty!" He replied. "She was drunk and all over him last night!"He added.
"Mike I don't wanna hear that shit!" I shouted at him. "My point is as much as it hurt me can I really be mad at her?" I asked. " I mean Im pissed because she slept with another guy, and here I am married to another woman! I feel like I'm being a hypocrite, I don't want to share her with anyone but yet Im married and she can't have me. I can't help but feel like its a double standard, and im not being fair about shit.
"Man you gotta figure this shit out!" He stated bluntly. " Its fucking with you big time I can see it. I know you don't want to hurt Samantha but if you don't love her anymore you are hurting her more by dragging this out and she doesn't deserve that. She has been extremely good to you man. None the less, the heart wants what it wants and if it is this other girl that you love you need to end things with sam. As for her sleeping with another guy Chester, i have to be honest it is shitty but none the less a double standard. You can't commit to her so you shouldn't expect her to commit to you. I get it hurts, but its the truth. If you want her to be yours and only yours then you need to make a decision and do what is right for both of you. I don't personally think to highly of this girl, but she doesn't deserve to sit and wait around on you forever. Everyone deserves to be happy, and If you can't be that man because of your current commitments then you need to step aside and give her the chance to gind happiness with someone else. Im not trying to be a dick dude but that is my honest opinion, and you need to get this stuff figured out before it tears you apart. Just make sure this girl is who you think she is before you make that decision!" He explained.
"Thanks man!" I stated gratefully. "I need to go talk to her and try to make things right, I was pretty shitty to her earlier." I explained.
"I'll talk to you later man!" He said.
"See ya later man!" I replied walking away. I made my way back to the hotel and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw her in the lobby talking talking to that dick. I had to remind myself that I didn't need to fight him, sam was still here and I shouldn't be mad about this anyway. The fact that I shouldn't be didn't change the rage I felt inside seeing them together.
I regained my senses and walked up to them.
"Roxie can I talk to you Please?" I asked her trying to ignore the fact he was standing there.
"Seriously man? After what you have put her through you wanna come over here and talk about shit? Jacoby started.
"Dude I'm really not trying to fight you, but I'm not saying I won't I'm pretty shitty at the moment!" I stated.
"Can you please just give us a minute alone to talk?" I asked nicely trying to avoid confrontation(even though I wanted to bash his fucking skull into the floor).
"Jacoby please?" She asked him.
"Fine Roxie but don't come crying to me when he fucks you over again!" He stated in a pissy tone. " you know I really don't like seeing you hurting like this, but you wont do anything about it!" He said harshly. "But since you said please, I will go quietly. I don't want to cause you any more pain." He stated sincerely, shaking his head as he walked away from us.
"What Roxie?" Asked with an attitude.
"What do you want Chester? You made it perfectly clear last night that you were done with me and for what? Because I slept with Shaddix? What do you expect me to do Chester? Sit around and wait forever for you to decide what you want? Do you want me to waste me whole life away on your backburner, as your friend that you want but can't have because your married. I have tried to wait for you to make a decision, but Im done waiting. I love you but I can't wait forever, I have needs too. You treat me like I'm something special to you and then toss me away when she comes around. What happens when tour is over and your back home? Do you really think she is going to be okay with us hanging out and spending time together? What Happens then Chester? You don't own me, I never meant to hurt you by messing around with shaddix but I was angry when I found out about everything and shit just happened. After that it was a habit I couldn't break, it was nice to feel wanted for once. It was just sex Chester do you really think anyone could take the place of you?" She finally finished screaming at me in the middle of the lobby.
"Rox thats exactly why I wanted to talk to you!" I stated feeling like total shit about everything she just said. " I wanted to apologize to you for the way I have been acting." I continued. "I don't own you and even though I want you to be your not mine! I can't give you any sort of commitment and yet I expect you to wait around and not be with anyone else! I realize now how wrong I was about things. What you do with Shaddix is your business, that is between you two whether I like it or not. It killed me when I saw him in your room this morning, but after I thought about it I realized thats how you feel everyday about me and Samantha. I am so sorry, I had no right to judge you for that and I have no right to hold you back from finding the love you deserve because I can't give it to you right now. As much as it kills me I just want you to be happy and if its with Shaddix then I guess I have to respect that and learn to do with it." I finally finished.